32 Comments

    • Laurie Stone

      Doreen, That’s a good point about politics. If Randy and I differed in that regard, that would make things harder. I don’t envy couples who have that dynamic, especially nowadays.

  1. My husband and I are opposites in some things (we have the same family values & outlook on life etc) but broadly speaking, I’m more like your husband & vice versa – apart from the extrovert bit – we are both extroverts 😊

    • Laurie Stone

      Linda, Its nice that you’re both extroverts. I wish I could keep up with Randy socially, and stay out late, but alas I can’t.

  2. I loved reading this, filled with its “that’s us” moments! Yes we are opposites in many ways, just like you and Randy. But our bottom line is love, respect, joy and a sense of humor. That last one is a necessity as we age!

    • Laurie Stone

      Cathy, When I think of it, humor is what probably keeps us interested in each other. We may be opposites in many ways, but still love to make each other laugh. That’s a huge glue in our marriage.

  3. I’ve heard some people say that opposites attract and others that marriages work best if the couples are very similar to each other. I think it may be more complicated than that. My guess it depends on the particular individuals involved. Things certainly seem to have worked out well in your case! My wife and I are also rather different in some ways, but we seem to have adjusted well to each other over the years.

    • Laurie Stone

      Bun, I agree, it seems to matter on a case by case basis. And even though Randy and I are opposite on the small things, on the big things, we’re very much aligned.

  4. Wow that’s so my husband and I, he is an extrovert and has to listen to music to fall asleep which naturally means I won’t even start till it goes off, our compromise is a timer. However, I am the funny one but being an Introvert many times no one knows lol. I love the balance it keeps things interesting.

    • Laurie Stone

      Heidi, It does keep things interesting. I’ve often wondered what would happen if we were both quiet or very social. Sounds like you have the same kind of arrangement, and thank God for timers!

  5. Some days I think because my husband and I are opposites it’s good and some days I think it’s a bad idea! Honestly, we balance each other out but we also stymy the other person. However, I don’t think it would be a good idea if we were alike though. Too much fire. Not enough water!

    Julia
    http://www.whenthegirlsrule.com

    • Laurie Stone

      Julia, Great way to put it! I like the fire/water metaphor. I agree about two people being too much alike. I think a balance is nice.

    • Laurie Stone

      Diane, Yes. We do have the same values and goals. Its the small, petty things where we’re different. Nice way to put it.

  6. Sounds like you and Randy complement each other. 🙂 I can relate to some of this, but in the opposite way, Hubby likes the quiet, while I prefer to turn the music up. He is a master at finding the things I’ve misplaced. On the other hand, we are both generous and both packrats. Better to have one person who’s the opposite in those cases. Our cluttered basement is a disaster! We haven’t yet faced the adjustment of his retirement, but that will be coming soon. After 45+ years together, we should be able to handle it. You two seem to have a handle on it, despite your differences.

    • Laurie Stone

      Debbie, Wow, 45+ years! That’s a long time. Sounds like you and your husband have the same opposite traits, but in reverse!

  7. It is great to have different traits in a marriage to balance things out, but it is also very important to have the same underlying values.

    • Laurie Stone

      Shari, So true. I don’t know how couples stay married who have very different political beliefs, which I believe speaks to values. Although I know some who do a good job. Go figure.

  8. Nothing was harder on our marriage than retirement because we are such opposites- in al the ways you just mentioned. His messiness and need for noise just about pushed me over the edge. However, after the initial struggle we are now as much in love as we were when we first married. I think it’s because we’ve finally blended into one.

    • Laurie Stone

      Beth, It takes adjustment to go from early marriage to raising kids to back to just yourselves. I’m glad to hear you guys are back on track.

  9. In some areas my husband and I are similar…and some we are different. We learn to adapt…. he is messy, I am tidy. He loves rock music, I only like country. I rant and rave and he just agrees. He has worked from home for the last 20 years, but we go to our own offices and our own corners of the house and mostly do our own thing in our own way. Occasionally butting heads, but after 30 years we know what is worth the fight and what is just not worth it, because each of us will never change.

    • Laurie Stone

      Michele, I find the ability to let things go gets better with age. We’ve both learned to pick our battles, although there are still occasional skirmishes.

  10. Is that what it’s called? Balance? I prefer to say the “balance” in my marriage is TOLERANCE! 😉 Hubs and I are alike in some ways and very much not alike in others. Whatever it is in all these “opposite attracts” relationships, at least they are working. Great read, Laurie!

    • Laurie Stone

      Thanks, Bren. I love that word… tolerance. After decades together, we couples get good at choosing our battles. Its sink or swim!

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