20 Comments

  1. I love this! When I was a young single woman I read a book about finding Mr. Right. I made a list of all the qualities I'd want in a mate and "sense of humor" was right there at the top. My #2 was that there had to be a bells and whistles sort of attraction. I definitely scored with my top 2! And I've always found that if someone has a good sense of humor, most of the other items on the list are met as well. A good humored person is usually intelligent and thoughtful and just someone you want to be around. Congratulations to you and Randy!

  2. I'm with you on all counts. My husband and I were married at 23, which even we will admit is too young for most folks. His ability to always take the high road, his laugh, and the little kindnesses are a huge part of why our marriage works. That and my ability to pick up his shoes.

  3. Anonymous

    This is cute. I just celebrated my 2nd anniversary last Friday and my husband is all of these things. Sometimes it is scary with failing marriages around you and we are such an improbable couple. We would fail all of those "compatibility" tests. But after 2 years and a baby, I wouldn't change a thing.

  4. Anonymous

    I liked this column but how do you know ahead of time, if a prospective partner has those qualities? You don't…not definitively anyway…So you were really wise and also, lucky…I am happy for you both in your marriage and in the fact you found each other.

  5. Anonymous

    The self-congratulation here passed EMETIC light years back. Just FYI, Ms Stone: the twenty-three year old bride knew about as much as most twenty-three year olds know, which is nothing–and the fact that she *happens* still to be with a man she fell in love with at that age has nothing to do with 'knowing how to pick a mate' and everything to do with blind luck. It's nice that you're still married–but do stop flattering yourself.

  6. Gosh, this was meant to flatter my husband more than anything. You're right. Its mostly blind luck. I got lucky finding someone so young. I'm the first to admit that.

  7. Anonymous

    It is blind luck, along with two strong commitments to the relationship. Life happens, circumstances change and some relationships don't survive. My marriage ended around the 30-year mark due to my spouse's increasingly obvious mental illness, along with a steadfast unwillingness to acknowledge and address it. Still single. Be happy; make good choices

  8. I'm sorry about your spouse's mental illness. I know what a tough road that can be with a loved one. You're right. Life goes on whether single or married. Happiness can be found in any circumstance.

  9. Laurie, I came to your blog from a comment you left on the Wedding Toast article at the NYTimes. I'm so glad I did. My husband and I are marriage and family counselors and we do not often see marriages that last past the 15 year mark. Your story is truly uplifting. You made wise choices and married the man who showed himself to be a close companion with good character, and the rest is history.

  10. Thank you so much, Colleen. I think most of it was luck. At the ripe old age of 23, I believed he was the right guy. The rest as you say is history, plus more luck, plus lots of work! Thanks for reading.

  11. Mike

    I wish more women would take your advice! I'm 38 years old and single and I am everything on this list (fortunately, humble wasn't one of the qualities listed) and I have had such a hard time finding a mate. My last serious relationship was with a divorced woman wit h a toddler and I was the best step-dad to her child. Yet still she left me for a man 14 years younger than me (and 11 years younger than her). And other than her I've had no luck finding anyone else.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *