#1 — Pick a funny man – This is important. The first time I met Randy we were 19 and sitting in our college cafeteria. He made me laugh…a lot. That was my first impression of him. Almost 40 years later, he still makes me laugh… a lot. He’s always the funniest guy in the room. You’ll need this sense of humor. It will sweeten the good times and soften the bad.
#3 — Pick a man who loves music – Our marriage has always had a great soundtrack. In college we’d drive around listening to Steely Dan’s “Aja” and the Who’s “Quadrophenia.” Over the years Randy has filled my life with music he not only plays on his bass, but has turned me onto – Hendrix, Zappa, punk in the 80’s, Grunge in the 90’s, Outkast in the 2000’s, and of course, always (sound of heavenly choir) the Beatles.
#5 — Pick a good man– While I can be prickly and snarky, Randy always takes the high road. He sees the best in people. He never holds a grudge. He’s sympathetic. He treats everyone with dignity and respect. From the Chairman of the Board to the taxi driver, Randy wants to know everyone’s story and could strike up a conversation with a mailbox. I wish I had his openness. I’m working on it.
#7 — Pick a passionate man – I’m not just talking the boudoir, although that’s also nice. But Randy has many other interests like music, wine, and alas…collecting. Anyone who’s read this blog knows my
frustration enthusiasm when it comes to the newspaper, baseball card, political memorabilia, and coin collections. Oh well. Randy loves life. What can I say? Things could be worse. He could enjoy amassing snakes or antique surgical equipment.
And that’s the list. That’s what you look for in a husband. I got lucky and I know it. I found my best friend early in life and we got married and somehow kept it together. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s always beautiful.
Did I miss anything? What makes your marriage work?
This post was also published in The Motherish, an Australian website.