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Like a rocky love affair, I go back and forth with Facebook, ready to break up one day and welcoming it back with open keyboard the next. I’ve weighed the pros and cons and decided here are my top five gripes…

It’s like the school tattle tale.  Like many Facebookers, I’ve learned to watch every key I push.  One day you’re on Facebook and you show the least bit of interest in, oh say… Top Hunky Firemen of California…and before you know it, the world is alerted.  It’s like having a spotlight suddenly shine on you when you’re in your underwear.  You want to cover up and hide.  I’ve learned to use that ‘like’ button sparingly.

You know everything (and I mean everything) you do on Facebook is going to the NSA or CIA or Motor Vehicle Department or some mad scientist in Tora Bora, or maybe all four.   I’ve made my peace with that.  By now they (whoever “they” are) know my political views, religion, blood type, the fact that I prefer scones to donuts, like soft-bristle tooth brushes over medium, where I live, my phone number, have a cat named Rocky and a dog named Libby.  Let’s face it, if you’re on Facebook, you’re on the grid.   And you’re never getting off.

Who is this? I’ve had people who want to “friend” me who are warm, caring and wonderful.  They’re lovely people. I just have no idea who they are.  But they appear to be nice.  They’re smiling and well-groomed and look well-intentioned.  But who are they?  And how did they find me?  And what do they want?

What’s privacy? At the same time, before I learned about settings, I learned anyone can look me up on Facebook — old colleagues, pals, or even old boyfriends.  How horrible and invasive.  How strange and creepy.  Not that I would ever stoop so low and check out old friends or boyfriends….ahem, *cough*.

Facebook is getting corporate.   Half my newsfeed has become companies asking me to ‘like’ them.  Wal-mart and Sears want to be best friends.  Pepsi wants to hang out and chill.  Target has a new deal I have to check out.  It’s getting harder to weed through the sales pitches to the real people.

Of all my gripes for Facebook, this may be the biggest deal breaker.  We little people can’t do anything without it becoming a feeding frenzy for the profit-driven.  I know Facebook has to make money, but letting in the corporate sponsors is like letting sharks into the pool party.  It just doesn’t feel right.

Having said that, one thing (and one alone), keeps me coming back.  Call me a nerd, but I like seeing my husband’s relatives in Texas.  I love keeping up with my aunt in Florida and cousin in Ohio.  I like being reconnected with old high schooI and college buddies. I like hearing about the big and small moments in everyone’s lives.

I love the new friends I’ve made on Facebook via the groups I’ve joined, some people as far flung as Australia and India.  I like “chatting” a few times a week and learning about their lives.

Facebook is like a global coffee shop.  If you hang out long enough, almost everyone shows up.  I even like the political debates.

You learn a lot about people from Facebook and maybe more important, you learn about yourself.  You learn what you admire and what you don’t and what makes you a little jealous or mad and what is inspiring and heartfelt.

You learn that underneath the labels and masks, we all want to be liked and have friends and be seen and heard.  For now I’ll stick to Facebook for one reason and one only.

Like that stormy love affair, I just can’t say goodbye.

 

What are your thoughts on Facebook?  Comments are always welcome and if you like, please share.  Thank you!

Comments(22)

  1. I will never leave. And I’d say I’m embarrassed about that but I’m not. It is such a great source of support for me. Especially when I have insomnia 🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Carla, What I love about Facebook…I really love. It provides the socialization I think a lot of people need — especially when you’re home writing a lot. Never did it late at night, but I bet its a different world with all the night owls!

  2. I totally get this and agree. I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. And it isn’t just “getting corporate.” It is now so corporate that if you have a business page, hardly any of your page Likes even see it unless you pay to advertise it. Facebook has been implicated in 25% of marriage break-ups. You know, that harmless reconnecting with your high school sweetheart? Not so harmless. And the politics. I’d be surprised if anyone changed her mind about anything from a single political post. So like you, I love it for keeping in touch and reconnecting with far-away friends (not former lovers!) but in so many other ways, it really is annoying. So I limit my time on it.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Shari, I agree. Facebook is such a mixed bag, sometimes its hard to sort out the good from the bad. Right now, the fun and socializing outweigh the horrible for me. But who knows in the future?

  3. I also have a love hate relationship. I delete at least one post daily after posting. I just don’t want to stir any pots.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Michelle, I also delete posts, especially political. It never feels right.

  4. I hate Facebook, but it’s where all of my clients hang out so I’m there.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Rena, Sounds like many of us, you’re stuck with Facebook. None of us can seem to escape.

  5. Love hate for sure and yes, yes to everything you mentioned. Except politics…I usually stay away from these posts and rarely, rarely comment or get involved. Unless you agree with the person, I feel someone’s meaningful opinion or expressed tone can get lost and be misinterpreted by others. So, I don’t like to chance it and feel sometimes a face-to-face discussion is a better option. Good topic, Laurie 🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Laurie, I agree about the politics. I hardly ever get involved (okay, an occasional “like”), but the rare times I’ve written something, I ended up deleting it. Never feels right.

  6. Great piece Laurie! I “hated” FB before I had a blog… thought it was an enormous time-suck and could care less about OPBs (other people’s boats or babies). THEN- I launched a website and a FB business page and my whole attitude changed. I became *that* person who spews accolades about the mechanics of FB to anyone who will listen (BTW… my friends and fam are definitely NOT those who will listen). I love the business behemoth that it is, but I hate that the Mr. Zuckerbergs buddies keep effing around with the algorithms. Someday, I hope to know if all the time I put into managing my FB page is worth it, but I don’t think I’ll be measuring it in $$$! (I agree about all the ads… hate them!). Thanks for the fun topic (and for letting me vent!)

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Emily, Vent anytime! I spend very little money on my FB page (about $7 a week) and sometimes it yields a good amount of views, at least more than if I didn’t boost it. I also wish Mark Z. would stop messing with the algorithms.

  7. I think it’s dangerous, plain dangerous.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Carol, I’m sure it is, and yet here we are.

  8. I have the same mixed feelings. I love the connections with friends and family. But hate the invasiveness of, as you so succinctly put it: “…a feeding frenzy for the profit-driven…”
    Sometimes there are so many ads, I can’t find the thread I’ve been following. That’s when I hit the ‘off’ button and go back to my peaceful ignorance!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Diane, I’ve learned to watch every button I push. I don’t like the invasiveness of letting the world know everything I just said or did on FB.

  9. I agree with all your points. I think being able to stay connected with everyone from childhood friends to friend and family who live afar, it’s all worth it.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Ellen, Its the only benefit for me and its a huge one. I’ve reconnected with so many people I would never have found without FB. That alone is priceless.

  10. ALL of this! It’s like loving your captor. I love to hate it and I hate to love it.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Lauren, So true. Its too good to be bad, but too bad to be good!

  11. “Facebook is like a global coffee shop.” You nailed it! I too have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. Truth is, I would probably get off if I didn’t have a blog. I love seeing old friends and making some new ones, but the political views and vitriol are what really make me want to leave. And I mean ALL political views. Even ones that closely align with mine. I just can’t stand it. I’m also noticing how mean people can be to each other when they are stressed out. Like during a pandemic for example. I am shocked and saddened. Yet, I’m still there.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Lauren, Yes, there are lots of frayed nerves out there and this white-hot, emotionally-charged election isn’t helping. I also love the camaraderie of fellow bloggers on Facebook and stop following anyone who’s annoying.

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