You think you know how you’ll feel, but you don’t. When someone close to you dies, sometimes you react differently than expected. When my father passed last Sunday, I was ready to feel one way. But surprisingly, five unexpected emotions tugged at me. Happiness for him – My 82 year-old father was released from an […]
You walk the halls with other dazed-looking family members and wonder what brought you to this strange facility called hospice. It’s a place of intersections. On one hand, it’s the world of the living –busy and bustling with plans and schedules. On the other,it’s the world of the dying, the silent, unknowable spirit world. Here are […]
I pick up the electric shaver. “I don’t want to hurt you,” I say to my Dad. I’ve never shaved a man before. My 82 year-old father sits in yet another hospital room, one of many he’s stayed in lately for symptoms of late-stage Parkinson’s disease. He’s unable to use his hands except for the […]
I’ve never been good with hospitals. I shiver when I walk their corridors, reading scary signs on doors—Blood Drawing, X-ray, and Pathology. I feel vulnerable, small, and human. And yet over the past month, as I’ve come to visit my father in this vast Veteran’s Hospital outside New Haven, CT, something strange is happening. […]
On a bright, cloudless day in September 1983 I stood on the deck of the Queen Elizabeth 2, waving goodbye to no one in particular. I was 26-years-old and all around people threw streamers and shouted farewell to loved ones on the Manhattan pier below. Since this was a business trip, I assumed nobody would be […]
My parents just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary. I wondered what it’s like going through life with the same person for so long. The other day I asked their secret. The answer surprised me. But first, let’s back up. This story began in 1954 when my 24 year-old father stopped to help a middle-aged woman change a […]
I admit it. I’m simple. That’s why Thanksgiving appeals to me. Yes, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and the Fourth of July all have perks, but there’s something unassuming and lovely about Thanksgiving. Here are eight things I adore… The Macy’s Day Parade — I know it’s corny, but sautéing onions in butter and sage while listening […]
I lost two friends recently, one after a year long illness and the other out of the blue, a sudden, tragic accident. My friend who died this week from illness was in his seventies, big and tall with curly gray hair. He loved good food and wine and was a great host. Many times I’d watch him […]
Sometimes you don’t know when you’re seeing someone for the last time. Recently my husband Randy, sons Patrick and Paul, and I went to Houston to visit Joyce, my mother-in-law, now in her senior years. I’ve always loved Texas with its flat plains, barbecue restaurants, and honkytonk music, so different from leafy, hilly, Yankee Connecticut. Joyce’s cozy home is in the […]
I read off today’s headlines as my father sits in a hospital hallway. Other patients are around us, mostly weary old men and depressed-looking young ones. Many use walkers. In some rooms, guys perch on the edge of their beds as if they can’t decide whether to rise or not. Nurses and doctors bustle by […]
