5 Things My Husband Does Better Than Me (Yes, it’s Annoying)

After 45 years of marriage, you get to know someone well. Although I have things I do better than Randy (running the house comes to mind), he has his own unique skill set. Here are the top 5 talents that always make me a little envious…

Looking on the bright side – I can bring almost any subject to Randy, and he’ll find a positive spin. “Tell me it’s going to be okay,” is a request he’s heard often about medical exams, politics, even a social event coming up. Many times, a hug is also needed. And somehow in those moments, it feels like all will be okay. Randy always finds reasons to hope and be optimistic. The happy news: most things do turn out fine. And if they don’t, he puts a good spin on that too.

Making friends – We took a cruise a few years ago, and after a typical day of walking, touring, and socializing, I was ready for our cabin by 9:00 p.m. Meanwhile, Randy always found the “rowdy” crowd onboard, the ones who loved to drink and laugh and debate world events till midnight (and beyond). While I sat in our cabin, contentedly reading, Randy was just revving up his social engines. I wish I had the talent for making instant friends like him, but we are who we are. Still, I must admit, it looks like fun.

Being funny – If there’s a group of people who don’t know each other, Randy is great at breaking the ice fast, usually with self-deprecating humor. “When your hair is this color, you understand certain things,” he’ll say to the group, holding up a lock of his gray hair. Everyone ends up laughing. The air instantly changes and soon people are talking like they’ve known each other for years. I’ve always admired that about him. He doesn’t take life too seriously and people respond to that.

Staying “Chill” – Randy doesn’t catastrophize. Meanwhile, I catastrophize everything. In fact, sometimes when I go over all my strange, convoluted list of worries for the future, the present, and even the past, he looks at me strangely. “Let’s put this into perspective” is a sentence Randy has had to say many times. He knows how to throttle back and take each day as it comes. He lives in the now and for someone like me, who’s always gazing into a scary future (at least in her mind), that’s a blessing

A great sense of occasion – No one loves holidays and special times more than Randy. Even weeks ahead, he’ll start planning the menu and beverages. Me? I can be grouchy and not always welcoming to any blip in my comforting daily routine. Meanwhile, Randy loves blips! He has even taken over Christmas, from present buying for our sons (he always knows the cool gifts to get) to cooking a delicious dinner. I wish I had that childlike sense of wonder about these special occasions, —and I do for a while—but my energy runs out faster than his.

Maybe that’s why Randy and I have made a good team over the decades. I like to keep things steady. He likes to add that special sparkle here and there (when he isn’t telling me everything will be alright). And yes, sometimes it’s annoying for someone so high-strung to have someone like Randy, who’s so chill. But mostly, I must admit after 45 years, beyond being envious, I’m also grateful. He makes life fun.

What does your partner do better than you? Comments are always welcome and if you’d like posts sent directly to your inbox, just press here.