Do you sometimes wake up with a feeling of unease? Seventy is only a few years away and starting to wink at me like some lascivious guy at a singles bar. I’m both wary and intrigued. But here are five things that help me overcome that “running out of runway” feeling.
Seeing positive role models – Lucky me! I happen to live with one of the best role models for aging I know. If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say how great my 90-year-old mom looks, I’d be up there with Musk and Bezos. Mom lives with us, and I’ve seen first-hand how fit and sharp she is, driving herself to yoga classes, having a life of amazing friends, constant reading, and feeding her beloved birds (which has become a full-time job). I’m proud of her, inspired, and yes, grateful.
Having a passion – Plenty of mornings I have to push myself out of bed, but once I’m at my desk and fire up the laptop, something happens. With a load of writing projects always awaiting, I feel better. I have a purpose. Not only does it rev up the brain, but time flies and I put my worries aside. Having a passion, whether its creative, sports, or just talking with friends at the coffee shop, is a great cure for the “getting up there” blues. Recently I heard a wonderful saying by meditation guru, Tara Brach. “Action dilutes anxiety.” And yes, it’s true.
Making Friends – I’ve been blessed with wonderful girlfriends over my life. Some I still have. But others have come and gone, either from moving away, loss of commonality, or our lives going in different directions. Even in our late sixties and beyond, we all have to be adept at making new friends. I recently joined a Zumba class on Saturdays and forgot how lovely it is to move to music in a roomful of people. They’re full of smiles and encouragement and I’m hoping in there are some new friends.
Noticing the small moments – Appreciating each season has become almost a religion for me. Right now, Connecticut is in the middle of a very cold winter. We just had a snowfall, and everything looks like a Currier & Ives print, white and sparkling. Yet, before we know it, those green crocus shoots will be sprouting up in March and I’ll be as excited as a kid on Christmas morning. Then those lush, dappled days of summer and red and gold leaves of fall. I look forward to it all. They fill me with joy.
Self-acceptance – It’s funny, how we grow more into ourselves with the years. My husband Randy is a bassist in a bunch of bands. It seems like he always has a gig, practice, or jam session. Lately his gigs take place on cold, frosty winter nights. You couldn’t get me out of my warm house with a crowbar. If I even try to keep up with Randy’s extroverted energy, I get exhausted and cranky. Instead, I’m content to sit with my mom in the living room, a roaring fire going, as we solve the world’s problems. While it seems the rest of the world is dancing to Miley Cyrus, I’m happy to stay cozy and quiet.
Lately I’ve been watching old reruns of the sitcom “Cheers” from the 1980s. Just hearing that theme music takes me back to those days. But instead of being a twenty-something on the verge of life, I’m now a sixty-something having lived many decades. Where did the time go? And does it seem to be going faster each year?
I guess all we can do is hold on to life and to each other. And for now, ignore that lascivious guy winking at the bar.
How do you deal with growing older? Comments are always welcome and if you’d like to receive posts by email, just press here. Thank you!
Ej
Thanks for the reminders!