The 5 Biggest Myths about Aging

I recently read an article by a famous author, lamenting how old and decrepit she felt. I braced myself, ready to hear she’d just turned 102. Instead, her age was 69, two years more than me. I looked down at myself and although no one would mistake me for 25, I feel strangely okay in this body. In fact, I think there are 5 big myths about getting older.

You’re unseen – It’s become a rallying cry among older people, especially women. “I feel invisible,” so many say. But I must admit, I don’t feel invisible. If anything, I find people smile and say hello more than when I was young. Sure, they’re probably thinking, look at that nice old lady, but who cares.

Young people, especially guys, are quick to hold open a door to let me go first. No doubt, they see their mother (or grandmother?) in me, but that’s okay too. I’ll take it. I wonder if the world reflects what we give out. If we smile and are friendly, people respond, no matter their age… or ours.

You’re always “old” – One time I heard a neighbor lamenting about something she couldn’t do anymore. “You have to understand, I’m an old woman now,” she said, sadly, with a heavy sigh. She was forty. Now I want to go back and shake her. I wish I had told her, “Someday you’ll be looking at forty-year-olds and marveling at their youthfulness.”

Ever notice how the goal posts keep shifting as we gain years? In hindsight, we’re always younger than we think we are. Why not seize the moment we’re given, no matter the number?

You’re done learning – My 89-year-old mother reads more than anyone I know. She’s fascinated by nutrition, politics, nature, literature, history, art, animals, I could go on and on. She does word puzzles each day and feeds her mind with inspiring and interesting podcasts. It shows in her sharpness and curiosity.

My husband Randy and I often go to a lecture hall to listen to guest speakers at our local University. I always marvel at how so many older people are in the audience. They often ask insightful, interesting questions. I see how we’re never done evolving and gaining knowledge unless we decide we are.

You’re done being creative – Many artists, writers, and musicians I know say their later years are the most productive of their lives. Without a full-time job or children to tend to, we’re free to explore. Instead of being dried up of ideas like an old riverbed, I find I’m bursting with more creative projects than ever—books to write, webinars to take in, and workshops to join. I love that and I’m grateful.

In his late 50s, Randy reinvented himself, from CEO to a well-known bass player, gigging in every music joint in Fairfield County. Even though he has mobility issues, I couldn’t keep up with Randy’s playing schedule if I wanted to. His love of music keeps him young. I admire that he never let age stop him (nor do his musician friends).

You’re done being adventurous – Some of the most itinerant travelers I know are over seventy. We have friends in their early eighties who can’t wait to explore Antarctica with its notorious, choppy Drake Passage and freezing temps. They even want to go down in one of those underwater explorer subs (Full disclosure: I wouldn’t have done that when young). I love their “seize the day” mentality when it comes to life and living.

Although I’ve become more of a homebody in my later years, I love hearing about the adventures of some of our more intrepid friends. They’re going out with their boots on.

As for that well-known author? My mom would’ve smiled hearing her, not yet 70, lamenting how ancient she is. “You’re young,” she tells me often and I believe her. I can’t help thinking if my mother had always told me I was old, I might’ve believed that too. Thankfully, she’s always given positive, up-lifting advice.

Yes, aging is in our bodies—as evidenced by creakier knees, uneven sleep, and higher blood pressure. But there’s also no denying that it’s in our hearts and minds too.

And I find that strangely okay.

 

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