The 5 Best Things About Being Alone

Most introverts love and need people. After all, no man–or woman–is an island. And yet, for me, only solitude has those special powers to energize and soothe. I now see how private time has always filled five essential needs…

Quiet – When my two sons were little, I lived in a noise factory. Between boisterously running and playing, making loud ‘vroom!’ noises with their cars, and raucous playgroups, our house was hardly ever silent. In those days, I often had a babysitter come a few times a week for a couple of hours.

Where was my favorite escape? No, not a fancy department store or lively lunch with girlfriends. It was the library. I loved sitting alone in those secluded carrels, in a place with noise not only discouraged, but prohibited. Libraries gave me that alone, ‘quiet’ fix I needed to go back to those rambunctious little boys.

Freedom – When I’m alone I can do whatever I want, which is… okay, pretty boring. I mostly read or write in my journal. Maybe I’ll go crazy and do some puzzles. I need this freedom every day. My husband Randy and I will occasionally go into New York City, which is about an hour away. It’s wonderful seeing the sights and revisiting old haunts. All that energy! Vitality! Exuberance!

But by late afternoon, I’m done. I need the freedom to sit in that hotel room and peacefully read or write (yes, again) and do whatever quiet thing I need, as the city swirls around outside.

Daydreaming – Sometimes when I’m alone, I’ll stop and literally stare into space. I call these ‘mini meditations.” It’s nice to catch up with yourself and find out what you’re thinking. We’re always taking in information, especially with the internet, more than our grandparents could ever have dreamt. How nice to turn everything off and do nothing.

Sometimes I don’t know what I’m feeling until I stop and sit. Emotions pop up I’ve been too busy to honor or even acknowledge. I believe there’s no greater gift to give yourself than stillness.

Comfort— Our daily diet isn’t just food. It’s about everything we let into our heart and soul. That includes people, news, sights, entertainment, social media, sounds, everything. I now have a new morning routine, one that soothes instead of frazzles.

No more news, at all, not even a quick glance at the headlines. In the past, by the time I was done skimming the latest stories of violence, hatred, anger, fear, war, disease, and poverty, I was emotionally spent. Now I only allow gentle things into my quiet space, especially in the morning.

Energy – If there’s too much going on, I’ll take an introvert break. I’ve done this even with company over. You can love your family and friends, but still need a few moments to chill and be alone. Even a tiny bit can rev those social engines again.

I know other introverts that need alone breaks throughout the day. These interludes not only provide much needed quiet and peace but allow their nervous systems to recharge. Another plus: creative ideas bubble up more when alone. I wouldn’t be surprised if a different part of our brain kicks in when there’s private time.

I know a lot of extroverted people—including my husband–who rejoiced when the pandemic ended. We can go out and talk, and dance, and do things again! And I get that.

I even joined in sometimes. But part of me always looked back longingly at those books and journal.

That’s when I knew having alone time isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity.

 

Do you treasure your private moments? Comments are always welcome and if you’d like to receive posts by email, just press here. Thank you!