When Did Beach Chairs Get So Complicated?

 

Alas, there’s a new test for flexibility in our later years. No, it’s not how well we touch our toes or pull a stretch band. It’s how low we can sit in a beach chair. When young, I could gracefully perch on a tiny canvas strap one inch from the ground. Getting up was a breeze. These days? Not so much.

This dilemma reared its head a month ago when I blithely bought a beach chair from the local drug chain. It was little and light and “close to the sand,” the kind I used to use. No problem, I thought, carrying it to a family picnic the next day. That’s when the trouble began.

Starting the initial descent, I wondered how far down this thing went, until I ended up collapsing into it. Even worse, when I tried to rise, I had to half-roll, half-twist my way off, using hands on the ground as leverage. Where did my thigh power go?

“Good God,” my younger brother Eric teased from the sidelines. “You okay, Laurie? Should we call a medic?” I started laughing so hard, I worried I’d never get out. What if I was stuck sitting here in February?

The next day, I returned the Chair from Hell. After trying different types, I now have two more non-negotiables for portable outdoor seating…

Nothing too heavy — I’ve seen beautiful canvas chairs with wooden frames but carrying them is like lifting weights at the gym, heavy and cumbersome. No, I want to tote a beach chair, not join the Marine’s.

Nothing too long – Chaises look wonderful and comfortable, but they’re also bulky and heavy. It even feels a little show-offy, having full body support while everyone else sits in chairs or on blankets.

My mom has a good beach chair and I’ve been known to borrow hers from time to time. But when she needs it, I must give it back. Yes, in this strange, adult rite of passage, I must get my own beach chair.

I’m coming to see this is one of those tasks other people perform in nano-seconds, but I struggle with. Every time I go to buy a beach chair, they just sold out. Or I tried ordering one from Amazon and was told it would take eight weeks – just in time for fall.

As they say, its hard getting older, when our bodies no longer perform tasks they used to do effortlessly. Did the beach chairs change or did I?

Somewhere mine is waiting for me. It’ll be the right weight and size, and I won’t have to impress gymnast Simone Biles to get into it.

No doubt, my thighs will thank me.

 

 

Do you have a love/hate relationship with beach chairs? Comments are always welcome, and if you liked this, please share!

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