Bizarre Food Shopping Rituals During Quarantine

We all took a vow recently in our family – we would avoid grocery stores at all costs. We have several people in our house more susceptible to Covid-19 than others. No problem, we thought. We’ve been using our supermarket’s home delivery system for years. There was one small complication.

Everyone else had the same idea.

Within days, home delivery became so crowded and booked, it was like trying to win a date with Bradley Cooper or see Hamilton (before Broadway shut down). I was used to securing a time in seconds. Now, to my insulted eyes, “Sold Out” appeared for tomorrow, the next day, the next, and the next. Two weeks out, I was lucky to get the last opening.

My family learned to game the system. Even my 85 year-old mom got into the act. We realized every 24 hours, a new blank day is added. The trick was finding out when that new day is put out. Time slots go fast. Unfortunately, we discovered through trial and error, the magic hour is 3:00 a.m. or more specifically… 3:10 a.m.

Between my son, husband, and yes, my mother who volunteered (on her way to get water in the wee hours of the night) someone would jump on that phone or I-Pad and grab a date. Studio 54 had less late-night action. (I was usually snoring at the time). Even then, there would only be one or two slots left.

Before Covid, I could easily book a convenient 3-5 p.m. delivery time. Now I was grateful getting a 7:30 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. window two weeks away.

We soon learned the art of “cascading” – every week someone orders from their own individual service (yes, we all have separate accounts now) and pile onto each other’s lists. That way, each week someone’s service is due. Using this method, we’ve kept a steady stream of deliveries.

The good news is groceries arrive. The bad news is each delivery is half of what we ordered. Eggs, milk, yogurt, and orange juice are especially hard to find. Forget toilet paper, tissues, and paper towels.

Sometimes our order arrives and one of us gets lucky. Last week Mom got a package of toilet paper to much applause. (And yes, I admit to feelings of envy).

As for the tough-to-find foods, we had to get creative. Recently, I Googled “eggs” and our zip code and learned about a chicken farm in town.

It was like going to a speakeasy. They have a front office, but I had to go around back and knock on a wooden door. A small window in the top slid open. “Here for the eggs?” a low male voice asked. I looked around, half-expecting Tony Soprano. “Yes,” I replied. A few seconds later, a man wearing a mask appeared, handing over a plain brown bag. “Thank you,” I gushed like he’d given me a case of Purell.

The local Country Store is good for orange juice, milk, and yogurt, but only on certain days. You have to keep checking. Even with apples, I can only buy one at a time like we’re living in 1940’s Berlin. No one can enter the store, but your order is left in a bag on a bench outside. The wonders of a small town.

(Pssst…word on the street is that convenience stores are good for paper products).

Big stores have more choice, but the few times I’ve gone, I get nervous. Did I take my gloves off too soon in the car? What about the lady who coughed twelve feet away? Did I touch something strange when I picked up those graham crackers? Every little throat tickle comes with a scared, paranoid feeling.

And yet… so many have it worse.

I read an Op-Ed about Bronx and Queens hospitals and the daily heartbreak for patients, doctors, and family is staggering. In many places, people are out of work and have to scrape dwindling cash to buy food. Many don’t have enough.

Besides medical personnel, our new heroes are the food delivery guys, who all look tired and spent. We tip well and always say many ‘thank you’s.’

We want to help, but what else can we do but stay home? It’s a strange time and all we can do is pray and get through it.

That, and get online at 3:10 a.m.

 

 

How are you and yours faring? Comments are always welcome and if you’d like, please share.

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