The 8 Most Challenging Things About Restaurants

 

Do you like restaurants? Most people do. As a friend once said, there’s something nice about seeing and being seen. But even the best eateries have challenges and things that irritate or even perplex. Here are my top eight…

Too loud – Sometimes you feel it the moment you enter. There’s a wall of sound that would scare off Metallica. The restaurant chains are notorious for this with intrusive music that almost takes up a place at the table. Other times you don’t realize its a noise factory until you’re seated and have to repeat each sentence three times. Certain restaurants I love, but won’t go to anymore because it feels like a hearing test.

Bad table location – Anyone in my family will attest (with rolled eyes) that I’m sensitive to where I sit. Nothing irks me more than spending good money, only to stare into the men’s room or busboy station. I love a window seat, but will compromise with a nice table off to the side, if possible, so I can observe everyone. The worst is facing a wall and having to constantly turn around to see what’s happening. Torture.

Waiting a long time for the server to acknowledge you – You know that awkward moment when you first get to a party and the hostess isn’t in sight? You stand and wait in social limbo. That’s how it feels when it takes eons to get menus and water. Meanwhile, everyone around is digging in and laughing. But your party’s sitting there, a little sad, a little ignored…until that magical moment when the server appears!

The server who doesn’t write anything down (even when it’s a party of eight) – Although impressive, this memory prowess display makes me nervous. They’re going to remember that I want my burger medium with extra pickles and mustard instead of catsup and sweet potato fries, not regular? And do that for seven other people? Damn. It’s a lot of trust to put in a stranger, but begrudgingly, I admit most of the time (most) they get it right. Maybe I’m jealous.

Too “cozy” – This is one of the most challenging. The restaurant’s super crowded and everyone’s packed into tables the size of phone booths, one foot from each other. This is especially dangerous since my eavesdropping goes into full overdrive, especially if politics are being discussed. Even my husband, Randy, who shakes his head at my nosiness has been caught listening in. Not to mention, the stripper-like moves needed to get between tables to use the ladies room. Give me wide-open spaces.

The disappearing server – He or she was great over drinks. We bonded over apps. Dinner was fun with even some laughs, but then something went horribly awry. We were promised a dessert menu…twenty-two minutes ago? Where did this person go? Are they still alive? Should we call 911? You look around and all the other servers are bustling about. You can’t help wondering, was it something we said?

Too understaffed – I get hives watching a sweaty, exhausted waiter try to service twelve tables at once. Like a bad car crash, I can’t look away. Maybe someone called in sick. Maybe the restaurant is just mismanaged, but I can’t relax, watching another human straining to keep up, trying to get everyone’s meal on time, getting that trapped, feverish look in their eyes. It doesn’t bode well for dinner or my sanity.

Undertrained staff – We see this mostly during the summer on Cape Cod. Fresh-faced college kids stand around, usually more interested in each other than serving. They’ll proudly bring a tray brimming with dinners, only to realize we’ve barely finished appetizers. They blush and apologize while we do the fast changing of the guard from one course to another. They finally hit their stride in mid-August, just in time for them to return to the quad. And yes, I can kvetch, since I used to be one.

The strange thing is I love restaurants. There’s nothing lovelier than hitting that sweet spot — a good meal with enough fellow diners to see and be seen, but not too loud and with good service. Which is why in my old age I prefer early dinners. Yes, I’m not proud. When the restaurant has become loud and screechy, it feels so good to pay the bill… and leave.

 

What are your pet peeves about restaurants? Comments are always welcome. Thank you!

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