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Like many great mysteries, this one started with a question. One day my husband Randy turned to me, “Have you seen any of my socks? A lot seem to be missing.” I had also noticed a number of his black “Fruit of the Loom Crew Lengths” had disappeared. There was one thing to do. We had to round up the usual suspects, or in this case…suspect.

We called over Libby, our Yorkie. Randy held up his sock.“Libby, do you know anything about this?”

She wasn’t the coolest criminal we’d ever seen. Her tan head drooped. Her big, brown eyes looked up beseechingly to Randy and then looked away, and then looked back. It was classic dog guilt.

As we’d learned over the years, Libby has a fetish. Her favorite morning activity is snuffling through Randy’s socks on the floor like she’s picking out her favorite melon at the market. She smells one and then the other, and then for reasons known only to Libby, picks one.

She jumps on our bed, sock in mouth, and literally makes a meal of it, getting “chew drunk” as we call it, jaws working the fabric over and over, in a glazed-eyed stupor.

When we try and pull the sock away, she gives a loud, offended growl. To Randy’s frustration, we’ve picked up his socks after Libby’s been at them and they look like a family of chipmunks bit their way through. Holes are everywhere from sharp little teeth. (Of course, my husband takes this very well).

To my relief — and yes, pride — my socks don’t attract Libby. They could lie on the floor all day and she’d trot right by them. But Randy’s? They seem too delicious to pass up. We’ve wondered: What is it about his socks? Is it the “bouquet?” The “full body?” Is it like a fine wine to Libby, full of the heady aroma of her master’s feet?

Strangely, Libby also loves watching Randy get dressed. She’ll sit there as shirts and pants go on, like she’s watching her favorite TV show. Again, we’ve wondered what it is about this ritual that fascinates her, except…well, socks are involved?

Now we find Libby’s fetish has reached a new level.

The other day, I was sitting in the kitchen when she trotted from the laundry room with a dirty sock dangling from her mouth. She walked past me to her pink doggie crate, nosed the door open, and coolly walked inside.

Gathering my courage, I walked over to Libby’s crate and gave a peek. There, lying on the bottom were half a dozen socks and one of Randy’s large t-shirts.

I couldn’t believe what I saw. Now this fetish has gone beyond footgear to anything “Randy?” I pictured her dragging this unwashed tee from the laundry basket into the crate. The shirt is five times bigger than her.

Libby has become a hoarder.

Now every week I have to “toss” her crate (to use the parlance of “Orange is the New Black”) to see what contraband lies inside. Sometimes there’ll be a surprise – another one of Randy’s shirts – but mostly there are just lots of socks. (One time to my horror, I found a well-licked, sharp steak knife. I’ve also recovered chewed up packs of gum and lifesavers).

I can’t decide if I’m happy or insulted that Libby has no interest in my clothing. Maybe men emit more pheromones than women. Maybe Randy is just more interesting in an olfactory way. Maybe this is her way of keeping her master “close.” Whatever. I’ve learned not to take it personally.

Plus this situation might have one silver lining…

In a few months we’re taking a trip and boarding Libby for a week, which doesn’t make me (or her) happy. I’d love to take her with us, but can’t.

So what’s the best way to make a Yorkie feel at home? Why lots of clothes smelling like Randy, of course.

And you guessed it. Socks… lots of socks.

 

Do your pets have any strange fetishes? Comments are always welcome and if you’d like, please share.

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Comments(32)

  1. Awe. Libby is in love! 😉

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Lauren, No question!

  2. Oh, my word this is the cutest story! My dogs just pretty much chewed up anything that suggested ‘human’. And in a family of 8-10, that offers a lot of choices!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Diane, I have a friend whose dog ate her husband’s yoga mat! Its amazing what they’ll do.

  3. This was a delightful smile first thing this morning. Thank you. My daughter’s Chihuahua used to dig through the laundry to find her thongs, wrap them around her neck and strut into the living room to show off — especially when company came over. What a slut she was! 🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Carol, Hilarious! That little chihuahua was quite a gal. Thank you for giving me a smile as well this morning.

  4. She is adorable! Don’t be offended, let her have his socks, and T’s and your purse, clothes are safe. Our cats are not into clothes but one chair, well let’s just say it is theirs now and I can live with that.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Haralee, You’re right. We’ve now designated several of Libby’s socks for her chewing pleasure. We rotate the tee shirts, which she seems to love. The fun she brings to our house evens everything out.

  5. That’s a hoot! Our cockapoos collaborate on those kinds of things. They’re always up to something. But, since we give them soft chew toys, like little stuffed monkeys and such, they kind of stick to what’s theirs. Sydney, our little teenage girl, has a stuffed Mrs. Claus that she’s loved to stinking death for 2 and a half years! Buddy won’t even try to touch it! Our crazy pets always make us laugh, don’t they?
    b

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Barbara, Not sure what we’d do without them. Your cockapoos sound adorable!

  6. A hamper with a lid might help. I’m sure why they are so easy for her to get. maybe Randy is fishing for new socks?

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Trudy, Laughing. I never thought of the “Randy fishing for new socks” angle. Although with Amazon a click away, my husband never seems to lack for anything. Yes, he’s also had to keep socks in his nightstand to keep Libby away.

  7. A fine wine! Oh dear that’s not good. Maybe he needs to move his socks so Libby can’t chomp through them.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Rachael, Randy now puts his socks in his nightstand so Libby will stay away. Life has become complicated with this little dog…

  8. My dogs have so many chew toys. And yet, I will find Benji with a sock, working at it just like a soft chew.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Carol, I can never figure out a sock’s appeal.

  9. I love Libby!
    Our OES, Pandy, now makes a bee-line for anything belonging to our 9-year-old granddaughter. Her boots. Her toys. Her homework. On a positive note, Granddaughter now puts her stuff away…

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Diane, Ha ha!! That’s one way to teach neatness.

  10. Libby is one clever girl! Mine don’t hoard, but they do steal!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 3 years ago

      Carol, I think all dogs are mini-thieves!

  11. Awe Sweet Libby. I had a great Dane who would try to bury her bones in our couch. She would spend all day trying to get them under the cushions. When I would come home from work, I’d see the tip of her nose was rubbed raw and bleeding. I miss that sweet dog so much.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 3 years ago

      Gina, Laughing. She sounds like one determined dog!

  12. Love this story. How does Randy feel about such adulation?

      • Laurie Stone

      • 3 years ago

      Beth, He loves the Libby attention, but the small holes in his socks? Not so much.

  13. My dog doesn’t show any interest in our clothing. Thank goodness. The only time she begs for food is when I’m chopping vegetables. If I give in and give her a scrap, she gently takes it in her teeth; runs to her bed, and tosses it around. These scraps are never eaten, they just become a play toy! Libby must love your husband very much…

      • Laurie Stone

      • 3 years ago

      Susan, Laughing over your pup’s veggie fetish. Never heard of that!

  14. Little monkey! I love Libby stories!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 3 years ago

      Diane, I swear she is part-monkey.

  15. I love Libby! Granddaughter can now say, with a totally straight face: My dog ate my homework…

      • Laurie Stone

      • 3 years ago

      Diane, Laughing! They do eat everything.

  16. Ha! And cuteness overload! This makes me wonder if reincarnation exists. If it does, I’m pretty sure Libby and Randy were connected somehow in another life.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 3 years ago

      Mona, Nothing would surprise me.

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