Hello Worry, My Old Friend…

 

I have few natural talents, but producing anxiety is right up there. It doesn’t take much to get the hamster wheel spinning – a medical test, taking a flight, meeting a new group of people. But having had this affliction all my life, I’ve gotten (if not good) at least better about relieving the rat-a-tat of my nervous heart. Here are seven things that help bring on (somewhat) calmness…

Getting out with people – Sometimes a trip to the local coffee shop is all it takes. There’s something about the energy of other humans, hearing them talk and laugh, that helps ease tension. Anxiety can be lonely. You think you’re the only one who’s stressed, but getting out among others can be soothing, if not distracting. I always feel better when I do.

Pink tulips – I don’t know why, but these flowers perk me up. I’m also not sure why I prefer pink to red, yellow, or lavender, but I do. Their beauty is fleeting, a week at the most, and then their petals start dropping to my kitchen counter. But while here, they remind me of the lush, natural world that exists just beyond the door. They help me see how my problems, although big to me, don’t matter in the vast, eternal world of nature. Somehow pink tulips put life in perspective.

Writing – The other day I was jittery, waiting for results on a medical test. (They came. I’m fine). Next to a turbulent flight, nothing – and I mean nothing — puts me in a tizzy more than this. I always imagine the worst. And yet the other day, I began writing in my journal and got so immersed, I forgot to worry – at least for a while. I was amazed how putting pen to paper helped get all those scared, tangled musings down in front of me, and somehow more at a distance. 

Surrender – In the Civil War movie “Dances with Wolves” soldier Kevin Costner, rather than have his leg amputated, chooses to die in battle. At one point, he ends up riding between the two armies with both sides shooting at him. Instead of fighting back, he lets go of the reins and throws his arms out as if to say, “God, you decide.” Strangely, he lives. Sometimes we have no choice, but to toss our fate to the winds. Accepting no control can bring a strange sense of peace.

Talking to my husband, Randy – – My husband is the greatest “minimizer” I know. No matter the problem, he’s usually able to brush it off, sometimes with a laugh. “Laurie, you’ll be fine,” has been a familiar refrain throughout our marriage. And even though Randy doesn’t really know I’ll be fine, it helps to hear his “accessing the odds” pep talks. And yes, there have been problems we weren’t able to laugh off, but somehow they worked themselves out too. I’m always amazed at Randy’s ability to distance himself from his nerves.

Anything (even dumb, little things) that take us out of ourselves – Ever get so engrossed in online scrabble or making that certain marinara sauce that you forget what’s eating you? How freeing that feels, even for a few moments. I think our minds are like bloodhounds. They need something to focus on, to go after. Otherwise, if left idle, they fret and whine. I’ve learned to feed my brain with work as much as possible when worry looms. It keeps those hounds at bay.

Silence – Nothing puts us in the moment like quiet. Sometimes in the car I’ll turn off the radio. Immediately I’m more present. I notice that cat sitting on the side of the road. I see how the clouds look a certain way. I take in the beautiful light. There’s something peaceful in silence and many believe, it’s where we find God.

Which leads me to wonder…does anxiety serve a purpose?

As hard as nervousness is, maybe it’s good for us to be pulled kicking and screaming out of our daily lives. There’s nothing like a big dose of tension to go running gratefully back to the things you thought drove you crazy.

Or maybe it’s good to help us realize that underneath all that quivering and shaking, we’re brave after all. We get on that plane. We take that medical test. We show up with that new group of people. We do what we’re afraid to do. Maybe anxiety is useful for teaching us we have more courage than we know.

Maybe that hamster wheel is there for a reason.

 

How do you handle worry? Comments are always welcome and if you like, please share.

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