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They still haunt me. I catch glimpses of large Christmas firs in other people’s living rooms, aglow with lights and shiny ornaments. I picture wreaths and bows and poinsettias and give a sigh. That’s what my living room used to look like. But time moved on and our family has gone through three distinct Christmas phases…

The Early Years – Yup, we used to lug a full-grown evergreen into our home each December. Our little boys’ faces beamed as those trees stood tall and proud. My mom and dad joined in as we added colored balls, red bows, and long strands of glass beads.

The boys solemnly added their own little touches made in school — cardboard cut outs of their hands and pictures of themselves, framed with popsicle sticks. Hot chocolate was served. Carols were sung. It was an event!

But then time moved on…

My boys grew from excited tots to indifferent teenagers. Randy started travelling for business and I had to beg, plead, and yes, bribe my sons to help me decorate the tree. Before I knew it, much of Christmas fell into my inbox. And that’s when I learned a hard truth about this holiday… I have a snarky, lazy side.

One year, I found myself decorating the tree alone. I stood there, grumbling and feeling sorry for myself as I hung each ornament. There had to be an easier way.

And that’s when I made my first holiday executive decision…

The Middle Years – I bought our next tree online — an artificial one. This is especially embarrassing since we live two miles from five Christmas tree farms. But I wanted something I could assemble with minimal help. This tree came in a box with three easy, stackable pieces. Lights were attached. All I had to do was plug it in and voila! Instant holiday.

My family stared in horror. Randy noted how this evergreen — instead of coming from our neighborhood — came from Taiwan. The tree became the butt of endless Christmas jokes, but I didn’t care. I loved the ease of it all.

I even bought a few other “non-organic” things like evergreen trim and fake poinsettas (which I didn’t have to still water in August). It got so I brought Christmas down from the attic each year, laid it out, and plugged it in. And from a distance (okay, a big distance) our Christmas looked almost real.

But time moved on again and those teenagers became grown men with beards and lives of their own. Randy retired.

Recently I brought down our artificial tree, by now scruffy and sad. Some of its “boughs” had fallen off and half the lights didn’t work. Even putting together those three pieces started to be a pain.

So I made another executive decision…

The Later Years — I decided to make our Christmas “fun size.” This time I would get a real tree…but a small one. Not a “Charlie Brown” icky, but a nicely shaped petite.

This time, instead of buying a live tree with two excited kids, it was just Randy and me driving to the nearest dealer down the street. “We’ll take that one,” we said, pointing to the first decent, four-foot candidate. Even I could carry it and place it in the car’s back hatch.

Because this tree is so small, everything is easier. Although I’m limited with ornament space, I’m forced to pick out only the ones that mean the most – those cardboard hands from so long ago, miniature guitars and drums, hung in honor of our musical family. I still have those strings of glass beads.

The other night I stood in the living room, taking in this little fir, all done up with its colored lights. And that’s when I realized how all the trees we’d ever had – even the most wretched — acquired a certain beauty after dark. That’s when I always felt the true magic of Christmas.

I still drive by houses and admire those big trees winking at me from the window. I see my own excited kids dancing around and my parents hanging those colored balls. I see my husband and teen sons laughing and joking over the artificial, factory-made specimen. And yes, there have been a few pot shots about the new evergreen that could sit in our kitchen sink. But that’s okay.

Maybe all of that doesn’t matter. What does matter is how each Christmas we were happy. We were together. And whatever Christmas tree we had at the moment… was just the right one.

 

 

Has Christmas changed in your house over the years? Comments are always welcome and if you like, please share.

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Comments(43)

    • Arlene

    • 5 years ago

    Funny Laurie that my husband and I just picked out a tree and decorated it today. Over the summer we put in a wood stove where we usually put the tree, so this year we picked out the skinniest (but still nice-looking) tree we could find, as the only other place to put it now blocks the view of the TV from the couch. Oh well! And I wanted a balsam fir — smells like Christmas now!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Arlene, I have to admit, I love the smell of the real thing. Sounds like you and your husband have Christmas well under way!

  1. Looks like I’m in the middle phase of Christmas tree life (yes, artificial). But you’ve given me something to look forward to down the road — I love the idea of a small real tree!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Maggie, The “fun size” tree turned out to be a good compromise. Keep that in mind as you cycle through your Christmas tree years!

  2. We are still in the artificial tree phase here. We all had to force ourselves to decorate, I see this slipping away. I like the idea of the smaller live tree.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Bryce, The “fun size” tree was a good compromise. I highly recommend it.

  3. You just told my story Laurie!! (Again😉)

    Love this and totally identify!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Emily, I’m so glad I’m not the only one!

    • Sandra Watson

    • 5 years ago

    So true! This year, for the first time ever, I’m not having a tree. Not due to Scroogeness, but to the two kittens I just adopted!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Smart, Sandra. I had to give up our tree skirt since the cat thinks its an adjunct litter box. Sigh.

  4. Oh, my goodness, yes! I’ve pared down year to year until I’m now a Christmas minimalist! This year, it was especially hard to get myself motivated. Our neighbour was out in mid-October hanging lights and getting ready to throw the switch on November first. And he’s older than me! Sigh. So I called in a few favours and bribed my grandchildren into coming and doing. It turned out totally fun! I think I’ll just try to keep this going for as long as I can!
    And you’re totally right. It’s the memories that matter!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Diane, Smart lady. I find bribing (and Christmas cookies) go a long way in getting a work force.

    • Lois

    • 5 years ago

    Luckily, I have a birthday two weeks before Christmas, and part of my birthday celebration has been decorating the tree together. No excuses for my kids! 🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Very smart, Lois. I would expect nothing less!

  5. Our Christmas journey has been similar. We’re down to doing several small tabletop trees which is so much easier. Each little tree has it’s own theme. It’s quick and easy but it still feels festive. It’s perfect for this stage.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Shelley, I love the tabletop route. That may be our next venture. They’re really pretty.

  6. It’s true also because so many of us have downsized. We went from a real tree to an artificial tree and now I haven’t even bought a tree because we live in a small apartment. Maybe I’ll find a wreath or something just to get the smell.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Rebecca, So glad I’m not the only one! Sounds like others have made this same Christmas journey.

    • Donna

    • 5 years ago

    I love this post as I can relate to it so well. I’m now in the third phase, divorced 10 years with my two sons grown, one recently married and the other in his own first home with a girlfriend. I am now enjoying the Christmas tree of my dreams, decorated with the style and things that I enjoy while they have their childhood ornaments for their own trees to start their own holiday traditions.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Donna, Sounds like you deserve the beautiful Christmas tree of your dreams. Enjoy!

    • Donna

    • 5 years ago

    This new year, I had to face the fact that I need to realign my Christmas “expectations” to our family’s current phase of life. Both kids, age 27 and 30, and their partners and my hubby didn’t seem to give two hoots about anything traditional. I was all alone in my quest to recreate the ideal Christmas from the past because what I hadn’t recognized was that they had moved beyond the childhood family traditions. It snuck up on me too, probably over the last 3 years or so and I just didn’t see it. So there I was, trying too hard to hang onto traditions like skating and hot cocoa, silly Christmas movies, Christmas Eve seafood feast, and more. No one really cared. It was in fact, just a bother and stressful to everyone else too, as I tried to figure out why no one wanted to do what we’d always done. I had my “aha” moment when I stood taking all the decorations down, by myself of course, on January 1st. Times they are a-changing. Go with it. Create new traditions. Shelve those old ones until maybe one day there is a grandbaby in the family. Maybe next year will be more relaxed, laidback and stress-free. Here’s hoping.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Donna, Sounds like we came to the same realizations. Its nice to have the traditions, but if we’re the only ones hanging on (and doing all the work) its time to let go. Sounds like you’re on your way to creating new memories.

  7. Our Christmas trees have definitely changed – we also used to have a big real tree whose pines fell off all the time and I was hoovering up bits of pine throughout the year. We then bought an artificial green tree – it looked grand but less mess- until we had kittens …. so we got a small stick tree with lights. We moved house in 2017, so all our previous decorations had been thrown out and we have started again – with a minimalist look. Our tree was a tall white stick like tree with lights – it looked great with our general decor. My children had no great desire for a traditional tree. My girlfriends who are big traditionalists when it comes to Xmas trees were not so impressed though!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Linda, I love all your ideas. A white stick tree with lights! Sounds wonderfully easy. Writing this all down for next year.

    • Jody

    • 5 years ago

    The fiancé loves to go get a little flocked tree and put it on the back porch, a tradition she and her mom used to do when she was younger.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Jody, That sounds really pretty. Traditions are nice to keep going. They bring comfort.

    • Laurie Stone

    • 4 years ago

    This is the first time I haven’t had a tree up in 28 years. We’re getting ready to move over the next few weeks so I decided to forego a tree this year. It’s already got me down, but I don’t want to move it once it’s up. I’m going for an artificial one since we’ll be doing Christmas at my daughter’s house this year.

  8. We’re currently in the middle years but I think next year we will downsize into the later years! The tree thing lost its luster when I couldn’t have a real tree due to allergies.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Ellen, Lugging a full-grown tree into my house each year became too much of a chore. I love our new smaller fir. Sorry about your allergies!

  9. I am Jewish but have always loved decorating Chritsmas trees. So when I married a Catholic I was so excited to finally have my own. The novelty has worn off and if we didn’t have kids I would forgo it. I’m cool with a Charlie Brown Christmas tree now. I hear they sell them at Trader Joe’s. 😉

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Lauren, They sell them at Trader Joe’s? I’ll have to check that out.

  10. For years, I did the massive Christmas tree, not only putting lights on the limbs but wrapping lights around the trunk of the tree so it would be lit from the inside. But it’s a lot of work, more so in the taking down than the putting up. So I started getting fake trees. And my first fake tree was an obviously fake one…I got a hot pink tree that came lit with prelit pink lights. It had a Suessical bend to it and I loved it. I loved it so much that I’m on the second one this year.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Jennifer, I’m thinking of doing that this year! Maybe some “Vegas, here we come” pink specimen that will shock everyone…but get the jokes going.

  11. What a fun post. Paring down Christmas can definitely be a good idea.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Lydia, Every year I try and pare it down more. I have it down to a science.

  12. Right now my holiday decorations are non-existent. We moved into an apartment and the decorations are up in my closet but if I take them down I’ll have a hard time putting them back up. Plus, there’s no room. It kind of takes the fun out of it. I’ll probably go out to a restaurant with my daughter and my son is out of town. Instead, I go visit outdoor Christmas trees and Hanukkah displays at malls.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Rebecca, I find even a little plant can do the job. Hope you have a wonderful holiday, whatever way you decide to celebrate!

  13. Yes. The history of life in Christmas trees!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 months ago

      Carol, We have quite a few eras!

  14. You’ve got your priorities right, for sure.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 months ago

      Carol, I try.

  15. Interesting transition from one life phase to another, and your adjustment to the changes. Enjoy your perfect tree and happy holidays

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 months ago

      Meryl, Thanks so much!

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