Why Do All Our Dogs Go AWOL?

Yup. We’re “those” people in the neighborhood, the ones who can’t keep their dog in their yard. Why does every canine we own need to escape — if only for an hour — every chance they get? We feed them, house them, walk them, and love them. They love us back, but damn. Is it us?

This problem began with Ren (yes, he looked like the star of the 90’s cartoon, “Ren & Stimpy.”). Ren’s favorite hobby was running away and yapping at people in their own yards. Picture having your nightly cocktail interrupted by a toothy, bat-eyed Chihuahua barking like you just pulled his tail.

Some neighbors had more of a sense of humor than others. And I honestly don’t blame those who didn’t. In fact, I’m surprised Ren survived to the ripe old age of 14.

Our next dog Simon had love on his mind when he hit the highway. His crush was named (aptly or not)… Prudence. She was a cute little Lhasa Apso with white fur and lived one street over. Simon adored Prudence, but she was just one stop on the cookie route.

With Simon, we’d get calls from people miles away. And always was the same embarrassing question…“Are you the owners of this dog?” We knew what was implied. Are you the idiots who can’t keep your animal on your property?

My husband Randy bought customized collars with Simon’s name, address, and telephone number. We would’ve added blood type and zodiac sign if needed.

People often asked how Simon escaped. The answer many times was… we didn’t know.

Aside from the occasional door left open, there were afternoons I’d get a call saying Simon was in a neighbor’s yard. I’d look around, having no idea he was out of the house. There was no sign of exit. Harry Houdini would’ve scratched his head in confusion.

Years passed. We now have cute, little lap dog Libby. I breathed a sigh of relief when we adopted her. Females don’t roam, I was always told. Hallelujah. Then I lived with Libby a few weeks. Females don’t roam?

Libby can’t be trusted near any open door. We had to set up this elaborate exit drill whenever we leave the house. Someone must hold Libby while everyone makes a hasty retreat. The last one must maneuver out the door while thrusting Libby as far away from the exit as possible. Trust me, it’s easier said than done.

The bad news is Libby roams. The good news is we know where she goes. Libby has found true love next door with handsome canine swain Roscoe. (And yes, thank God, she’s fixed).

I learned about Roscoe last time Libby ran. I was starting to panic when a young woman appeared on our driveway, holding Libby while pushing a baby carriage. She was the nanny next door.

“Are you her owner?” she asked. I cringed, feeling the usual shame. We were now three for three in the escaping dog department. She told me about Roscoe and handed back Libby. Like many dog finders over the years, I was struck by her kindness and patience.

And so it goes. Our house now has borders, guards and observation towers that would shock Alcatraz. We know where Libby is at any given moment. Hannibal Lecter had less monitoring.

Not to mention, it’s scary when she’s gone. Could she have run out on the road? Is she the midday snack of some coyote?

Someday we’ll crack this code. If we don’t, the same solution will present itself that always has. Libby will simply outgrow her love of the open highway. Like Simon and Ren, she’ll grow old.

In the meantime, all we can do is keep her away from open doors, buy lots of collars, and accept the fact we’ll always be “those” people.

Sigh.

 

Do you have an errant dog that likes to escape? Comments (and suggestions) are always welcome. Thanks for reading and if you like, please join my newsletter with lots of pet stories, the latest blog posts, and news. Thank you!