Cheerful young woman eating chocolate at home

 

You think you know how you’ll react in a crisis. You think you’ll be calm and collected. But then it happens and you’re not. Last week I realized there was no chocolate in my house, and because of a blizzard raging outside, literally no way to get more. (Guys, you may chuckle, but the women understand). It was then I realized the depth of my addiction…

Like many chocolate lovers, I eat a small piece (or several) everyday. It’s so routine that I take it for granted like the sun shining or getting water from my kitchen tap. I simply reach for chocolate and it’s there.

Except for one day last week.

I’d been so busy that I’d forgotten to order my usual (blushing with embarrassment) case of 12 “Strong Dark Chocolove” bars from Amazon. It literally arrives in commercial packaging, like a store counter would display. Now, having no chocolate is usually no problem. If I happen to run out of stock — a rare occasion — I drive to the nearest store and buy some.

Not when there’s a blizzard outside.

Yes, for the first time in years, I was in a house without chocolate. It was then I realized there are 5 stages to coping with this situation…

Disbelief — I admit, it took a while to come to grips. I kept poking around my candy cabinet for anything cacao-related. I couldn’t believe I was truly out. There had to be something hidden—a petrified Ghirardelli square, a dusty fragment of a Dove bar, a fossilized Hershey Kiss.

But there was nothing. A panic started rising. I took deep breaths to calm down.

Denial – One of the toughest moments came after lunch when I usually have my first bite of Chocolove. Only this time there was nothing. Okay, I thought, I’ll just eat a few graham crackers. They’re sweet. I’ll get the same high as chocolate. Right?

Please. My taste buds weren’t fooled a second. There was no warm creaminess, no delicious cocoa teasing the taste buds. Like a bad date, there was no chemistry. I quickly learned eating anything-but-chocolate after a meal is like giving Yankees tickets to a Mets fan. It doesn’t work.

Bitchiness – I willed myself to calm down, feeling a snark coming on. That’s when I realized another component to chocolate love. Apparently chocolate has chemicals like theobromine and phenlethylamine that act on the dopamine levels of the brain. They help calm us. Maybe that’s why hormonal women, especially, make a crazed lunge for the Snickers and Hersheys with almonds.

Wow, I thought, this explained my personality…a lot. Being naturally “high strung” I need chocolate to level out, chill, and well … be human. How was I going to survive the next 24 hours? More important, how would my family?

Melancholy – That afternoon, I sat looking out the window, watching snow falling and felt forlorn. I contemplated a world without chocolate. I thought of how a mad dictator could actually control people—especially the women—by hoarding the supply of cocoa beans into the country.

I ate my dinner that night and yet another phase of this addiction hit me. How will my taste buds know when this meal has ended? Without that hit of 70% dark to act as a signal, will I keep noshing forever? Will I gain 50 pounds in one day?

Gratitude – The next morning I rose from bed and opened the curtains to a beautiful sunrise. The roads were still icy. Schools were closed. Again, it would probably be another day without chocolate. I steeled myself for the next 24 hours.

Yet as I moved through the morning, a strange feeling came over me. I realized I was thankful. This world can be scary, dangerous, and crazy making, but I have a secret weapon. I have this little substance that makes life sweeter, better, tastes good, and even calms me. It costs little and is easy (most of the time) to procure.

I realized then how much chocolate does for me and vowed never to let this happen again.

That afternoon, I sat at my computer and ordered my usual box of 12 Super Dark Chocoloves. To make sure I never went through this crisis again, I was tempted to order two.

Just in case there’s another blizzard.

 

Is anyone else addicted to chocolate to this degree? Comments are always welcome and if you like, please share.

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Comments(62)

  1. I’m still stealing my kids Halloween candy. The struggle is real. I give up added sugar for Lent each year….I’m a delight to be around then.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Bryce, I can’t imagine giving up sugar at all. You’re a brave woman. I wouldn’t be pleasant to be around either.

  2. I do like it and usually have one small piece every day…but I don’t think I am this addicted…but then I have never run out… LOL…

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Renee, Its so embarrassing. I’m not sure how things got this out of hand.

  3. I am laughing (not at you, but with you) not only because of your story which is hilarious but also because last night my husband had a meltdown because the grandkids had eaten his last stash of chocolate. He eats a Hershey bar (or ten) every single night before he goes to bed. I think I might have actually witnessed a tear, but he’d never admit it hahaha! I hope we can still be friends….but I hate chocolate! Bring on the salty chips though!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Rena, Wow, interesting, your husband likes chocolate. Usually this fetish is female-based. My son also hates chocolate! I always say they switched babies at the hospital. I never got that.

      1. That’s funny! I’m actually jealous of TQ because his sweet tooth is entirely restricted to chocolate, and high-quality chocolate at that. He can pass on any other kind of sweet. Me, on the other hand – I never met a dessert I didn’t like.

          • Laurie Stone

          • 6 years ago

          Bonnie, I’ve tried to train my tastebuds to like (mostly) dark, but in a pinch I’ll eat milk chocolate.

  4. My first thought when I read the title was “NOOOOO!” You are far braver than me, I would have driven out during the storm. I used to do it when I had to go to work during the blizzard. It’s far more important to have the chocolate.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Yay, Jennifer! Someone worse than me. Phew!

  5. I don’t eat chocolate everyday, but I find comfort in my little stashes that I keep hidden from the rest of the family. They don’t have as much self control as I do and would eat my chocolate in one sitting. When I crave the comfort of this delightful sweet treat, I need it as soon as I can find a moment to sneak away and savor it’s goodness, safely away from the other chocoholics of the household.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Suzanne, I’m definitely seeing a theme among the true chocoholics. Everyone has stashes hidden from the family. I have my own. So glad I’m not the only one!

  6. Food is great, isn’t it? Dark chocolate is greater. Your stages of dealing with the outage are funny! Exactly how I’d feel if I ever, ever allowed myself to run out of coffee. 🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Julia, We all have our “must haves” in life. Glad you understand!

  7. This was a great blog!! I can so relate. That’s why I make a big batch and freeze it. Sometimes even hide it from my husband!!!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Patti, Wow, you make chocolate? And then freeze it? You’re a woman after my own heart. So funny about hiding it from your husband.

  8. Chocolate (especially dark chocolate) is not my first choice for candy, but I understand the need for something sweet after a meal. If I can’t find anything else, I’ll have a few raisins, but it’s not quite the same. And yes, I hide all my candy from my husband.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Janis, I’m discovering this secret, underground movement of women who hide candy from their husbands. Very interesting phenomenon!

  9. You’re stronger than me. I would have dragged my family out into the blizzard! But then I live in the UK – probably don’t know what a blizzard is! For me it is Lindt dark chocolate truffles. I used to be a 70% person but then discovered the comfort of something sweeter and smoother and never looked back 😉

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Jennie, I love Lindt! Its so delicious and creamy. So funny about driving out in the blizzard. Brave woman.

  10. So cute, so cute! SO TRUE!! That was me on Tuesday, and I’ve given up 70%+ chocolate… all chocolate… except for Zico Chocolate Coconut water, can’t tell it’s not chocolate milk. I’ve been doing really well until Tuesday. SNOWED IN! Perhaps it was knowing I couldn’t go to the store, even if I wanted to. I raided the cabinet and the only thing I had was cocoa powder, which would have taken a cup of sugar to make it drinkable, so I passed… A tablespoon of almond butter just wasn’t the same. I feel your pain, Brenda

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Brenda, What is with us women? I swear, there’s something chemical in our chocolate addiction. I’m glad I’m not the only one who went through this with last week’s blizzard! Turns out there are many kindred spirits.

    • Lois

    • 6 years ago

    As soon as I read the lead-in, I could feel your pain…

    I think that urge for sweetness after a meal was ingrained in me from childhood when we weren’t all so afraid of sugar.

    Great article (as usual)!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Thanks so much, Lois. We have so much in common, I’m not surprised this is another.

  11. I love chocolate! I love to munch on chocolate in bed. But I can go without. However, I like mint imperials. I like a packet in my car. A packet in my handbag. I put some in my work folder & some in the pockets of all my coats & pockets. They give me an energy boost. Especially at work when I’m on the shop floor over lunchtime. They are a sort of edible “comfort blanket”. Take away my mints and I’m beside myself. 😳

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Linda, So funny how we all have our addictions. Those mint imperials sound good. Will have to look into them.

  12. Laurie, my heart goes out to you! Your post had me laughing and weeping at the same time! You obviously need a double secret stash of chocolate that you can only get to under extreme measures (blizzards certainly qualify!) A “break glass during emergencies” stash, if you will. I really enjoy chocolate, too, especially Godiva. Yum. Rare treat but worth every penny. And now I’m going to have to buy myself a Godiva candy bar today! However, my addiction is drinking Coke. I pity whoever runs into me before I’ve had my morning Coke!

    BTW, is it okay if I mention and link your site and specifically this post on my blog?

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Mona, I’d be delighted if you mentioned this link on your blog. Thank you so much! Sounds like we all have our addictions. My husband is addicted to Coke too. I can see how, but I try and steer clear. Chocolate is bad enough.

  13. Your title for this piece is fantastic! Brilliant! Chocolate can be a lifeline when everything else is swirling around us.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Thanks, Linda. I know chocolate is my lifeline. I never realized how addicted I was till I couldn’t have any!

  14. So we’re on the train towards Easter and naturally I will be figuring out what all goes in the kids’ baskets and NATURALLY a lot of what goes in will be stuff that my wife and I like so when the kids go to bed, they can unwittingly tithe to us.

    Chocolate drives a strange force within people, is what I’m saying. I feel your pain.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Right? Chocolate is strange in its life-force giving properties. I tell myself that it makes my life better. BTW, very smart with you and your wife about the Easter candy. I did the same thing with my kids.

  15. Ah. A woman I totally understand. I was totally panicked reading your post. I feel for you. No one should ever have to go without chocolate. Especially during a blizzard. I would have totally ordered 2.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Elena, My addiction can get very embarrassing. So glad I’m not the only one!

    • Kim

    • 6 years ago

    OMG-I’m feeling your pain here! Once we ran out of ketchup. The guy with autism in my house will put ketchup on pretty much everything and won’t eat unless we have it. Suffice it to say it was a catastrophe that hasn’t happened since! Thanks for the giggle.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Kim, I feel your pain as well! I’m sure you keep cases of ketchup now. I would.

  16. I feel your pain Laurie. I gave up sugar and dairy. It has been hard.I have to have coffee and some half and half in my coffee because I am not a barbarian and not everything can be lost! When I open the refrigerator and notice I am low on half and half, or my coffee canister is only a quarter full I get a bit skittish and hustle to the market!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Haralee, Funny, the things we get addicted to. Yum, I love coffee with half and half. Maybe I’ll go make some…

  17. I went into withdrawal just reading the title of this piece. It is definitely a shock to the system to happily go for your little treat and find it missing. I would order a dozen to make sure this never happens again!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Lois, You read my mind. Embarrassingly, I order huge quantities of good chocolate. Thankfully, I don’t eat tons during the day, but I need to know its there, like a security blanket.

  18. On square of 70% dark after dinner. I have a pile of bars in the kitchen. But I work to keep it to that limit. It’s hard. But such a treat.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Beth, I’m jealous of people who can eat chocolate in tiny quantities. I don’t eat it in big batches, but 2-3 squares is necessary for sanity.

  19. “Yankees tickets to a Mets fan…”

    hee hee hee

    Signed – Girlfriend of a Mets fan.

    🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Bonnie, Living near NYC, I know how diverse these two clubs are. Obviously you do too!

  20. I understand your pain- I’ve been there myself!

    Sandra

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Sandra, Yay! I’m not alone.

  21. I love this piece! I would love a piece of chocolate too! I swear I have noticed UPS and Amazon trucks delivering in nasty weather. Just saying….

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Haralee, Its such a luxury having chocolate brought to my door…sigh.

  22. The horror! And yes. I totally agree with your assessment of the stages of chocolate withdrawal. Also known as chocodrawal. Husby keeps a not-so-secret stash of chocolate for such a contingency. And at least two pails (not to be confused with the ‘pfff’ piddly little 750ml jars) of Nutella on hand at all times.
    Like you, we also take our chocolate seriously.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Diane, What is it about this food that’s so addicting?

  23. The horror, the horror!

    I went to an acting camp in Kerhonksen, NY when I was in college. The camp wasn’t quite within walking distance of the town and I swear I went through sugar withdrawal there!

    1. That being said, I could survive a day without chocolate if there were other sweets around. I have an equal opportunity sweet tooth.

        • Laurie Stone

        • 6 years ago

        Bonnie, Funny, I don’t eat any other candy but chocolate (well, maybe malted milk balls at the movies).

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Bonnie, I get the shakes just imagining.

  24. I’m right there with you. I cannot imagine 24 hours without chocolate; such a terrifying thought. Glad you survived – and stocked up.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Beverly, It was dicey, but somehow I made it.

  25. Always, ALWAYS order one ahead! It’s just better to be prepared! 😉

      • Laurie Stone

      • 3 years ago

      Diane, Lesson learned!

  26. I can relate. Last time I ordered chocolate, I discovered that the best price was directly from Ghirardelli — if I ordered the 500-square box. That’s not crazy for two people, right?

      • Laurie Stone

      • 2 months ago

      Joy, LOL. It makes total sense to me!

  27. They’re like chips for me: I can’t eat just one!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 2 months ago

      Carol, So true!

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