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Let’s face it. We all have aspects of ourselves we keep hidden. You think you’re the only person who has this strange list of defects. But are you? Here are 6 flaws of my own I’ve tried improving over the years to no avail…

Still can’t parallel park – I’ve been driving for over 40 years and it still takes me half an hour to end up along the sidewalk. The last time I tried, a woman happened to be walking by when finally (after 17 attempts) I eased my car into the spot. I got out, knowing she had seen the whole thing. She grinned. “I thought I was bad,” she said.

I couldn’t even be offended. Instead, I shrugged and laughed. Even with back-up cameras and sensors, I struggle. I can almost feel the car rolling its headlights in exasperation. Does anyone else have this problem?

Still love to swing – No, not that kind of swinging. I’m talking about kids’ playground swings. This fall we were in California. I was on a lovely beach in the morning and there was this empty swing set shimmering in the distance. I looked around. No one was there.

Before I knew it I was sitting on that seat, legs pumping, sailing into the air. It was wonderful and liberating and fun. Then a mother and child came along and it got awkward. But for a while, it was cool. Does anyone else sometimes turn into a five year old?

Still can’t listen to music in the car without singing along – The other day I was doing a beautiful rendition of “Vision of Love” by Mariah Carey. The crowd loved it. I hit every note. I wasn’t too pitchy. Then I pulled up to a streetlight and noticed a woman in the next lane looking at me, quizzically.

That’s when I had to think fast. I pretended I was talking on blue tooth, but knew I’d been busted. Does anyone else have these “Please earth, swallow me” moments?

Still hate driving in snow – Hey, I’ve only lived in New England… okay, my whole life. Still, I was traumatized when I had to drive my kids to school on snowy mornings. I’m surprised they didn’t seek counseling after having this panicked, hysterical mother go embarrassing slow, crying the whole way.

Now, I don’t care if its flurries. I’m staying put. And yes, I know intrepid souls who drive in blizzards without batting an eye. Nothing stops them, especially “a few flakes.” Not me. Does anyone else have snow-phobia?

Still talk to myself more than is psychologically healthy – This can also lead to awkward moments. Sometimes I’m having a conversation with someone. I’m witty and droll. The other person is charmed. Or maybe it’s a political debate where every point I make is astoundingly brilliant. Then a third person walks into the room and I remember that second person doesn’t exist. These moments are like being caught with your hand in someone’s wallet. There’s no graceful way to get out of it, except maybe tell the truth.

“Sorry, sometimes I chat to myself,” I’ll tell this person with a self-conscious grin. They’ll give a polite nod while backing out of the room. Does anyone else do this?

Still weep at the end of the “Wizard of Oz” — I know this is random, but saw this movie the other night. There are several trigger moments. First, when Dorothy says goodbye to her fellow travelers before getting on that ill-fated balloon. (Fun fact: Supposedly Judy Garland got Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, and Burt Lahr unexpectedly crying because she played the scene so poignantly).

Then there’s the last scene when she wakes up in her own bedroom. And those final words… “Home! And this is my room — and you’re all here! And I’m not going to leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all! And — Oh, Auntie Em — there’s no place like home!” (*sniffle*).

I’ve watched this with adults who end the movie cool and dry-eyed. Meanwhile, I’m a wreck. Does anyone else go through a box of tissues with touching movie moments?

And yes…I know, this a strange assemblage of quirks and flaws. But maybe that’s the point. We’re all a mess in our own way. Maybe some are simply better at hiding it than others.

To that end, I’ve decided I’ll contemplate this subject while sitting in my Connecticut living room watching snow falling outside.

And guess where I’m going later? You got it. Nowhere.

 

 

Does anyone else have embarrassing quirks? Can you relate to any of these? Comments are always welcome and if you like, please share. Thank you.

Comments(75)

  1. I’ve been known to shatter rear view mirrors when a good 80’s power ballad comes on while i’m driving

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Jeremy, Phew! So glad I’m not the only one…

  2. Laurie, this was so hilariously true! A terrific reminder not to take ourselves to seriously! I couldn’t agree more on the snow. I actually used to be a mail carrier (you know snow, sleet….whatever we have to drive in it!) and I am petrified of driving in the snow! My husband used to save his vacation days for snow days so that he could take off work and drive me (all without getting caught by my boss). I hate it so much it was the driving force behind moving to SC! Today it’s 18 degrees, but at least no snow!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Rena, What a blog post! How your hero husband would take his vacation and drive you around. Hilarious. I completely understand your phobia. I’d be crying if I had to do what mail carriers do.

  3. I STILL talk to myself more than is psychologically healthy…LOL. This usually leadd to awkward moments when I am driving and yapping to myself about something on the radio, or something else bothering me! Since people have speaker phones in the cars these days, I figure I can always play it off as just “talking” on the phone to someone. 🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Darlene, I’ve used the “speaker phone ploy” more times than I care to admit. I think for very passionate people, we need an outlet! I doubt I’ll change. Glad I’m not the only one.

    • Liz

    • 6 years ago

    Fun! I am Barbara Streisand in my car.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Liz, Isn’t it amazing how our talent grows depending on how alone we are? I just had a big Diana Ross moment the other day.

  4. I talk to myself way too much, always cry at the end of It’s A Wonderful Life, and won’t even try to parallel park. I renewed my swinging skills when I had grandsons and love to stay inside on a snowy day (like yesterday). And yes, I sing in the car. And sometimes when I’m shopping to keep me from swearing. haha! We are soul sisters.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Molly, We are definitely soul sisters, item by item! I also cry at “Its a Wonderful Life” by the way. Didn’t see it this year but will have to catch up one of these days.

  5. If there’s one thing I am thankful for this week it’s that I live in New York City and I don’t have to drive right now!

    And yes on the occasionally turning into a 5 year old

    And OMG yes on the talking to myself too much, I’ve lived alone for a long time now and it’s easy to fall into that habit! I also talk to my computer at work too much, and generally it’s not kind things I have to say to it. Have to try to work on that now that my division has moved into our renovated space with a much more open floor plan!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Bonnie, I also say snarky things out loud! Thank God I’m not the only one. Yes, being alone a lot (or in front of your computer as a writer) seems to bring out these charming qualities. Gulp.

  6. Laurie we are kindred spirits! A few years ago I was parallel parking my small Mini Cooper and there happened to be some homeless guys watching me from the sidewalk. It took me several attempts to get in and when I did the guys were laughing and applauded me!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Haralee, We obviously live in parallel universes. Isn’t it nice to add a little humor to someone’s day?

  7. I share at least 3 of your embarrassing quirks.1) I can’t parallel park to save my life. When I took the driving test—you know, back in the Miocene Era or something like that, we didn’t have to parallel park to pass the licensing exam. (I also can’t back up very well. If I pull into a parking lot and they say, “Just back in over there”, I have to stay, “Um, it would be better for all concerned if you backed in there.”) 2) I abhor driving in the snow—and the rain, and after dark. 3) I know I talk to myself because my husband and I now share a home office and he often asks me to stop talking out loud to myself so he can concentrate. 4) I not only sing in the car, I also dance. I don’t really car if other motorists notice, but if one of our sons is in the car, they start to slump down so no one will see them driving with this crazy lady. 5) I hate bananas. For some reason, some people find this disturbing.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Suzanne, Hilarious! Love the dancing in the car. I’ll have to try this. We are kindred spirits, no doubt. My poor, long-suffering husband also has to put up with my “mental patient ramblings.” So funny.

    • Giggling Fattie

    • 6 years ago

    Yes to all of these!! Except the Wizard of Oz thing. I don’t think I’ve ever cried during that movie 😕

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      I’m not sure why that movie gets me every time, but it does. I also go crazy over “Its a Wonderful Life” and “Forrest Gump.” Copious tears at certain parts.

  8. I don’t mean to brag (ok, maybe I do), but I am a great parallel parker. I’m not sure why, but I usually nail it on my very first try. I guess it’s my superpower… I would have preferred invisibility, but I got parallel parking.

    I love to swing – both the dance-type and the kid’s playground type. Fortunately, where I live, driving in the snow isn’t required, because I’m pretty sure I’d hate it just like you do.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Janis, I am in awe of your super power. Wow, first time, every time? You have been blessed. I’m glad you like to swing too. I notice not many people have remarked on that, so it might be weird. So glad you like it too!

  9. I am so glad the backup camera was invented, it makes my parallel parking experience much better. As for winter driving, I learned to drive right after a blizzard happened, remember 1978 in CT? I thought the driving instructor would cancel, but he didn’t and the first thing he had me do was make a U-turn up a steep driveway to pick up another student and then had me drive back down that steep driveway. After that, every year when winter starts, I do a practice ride. I speed up on my sleepy little street and then hit the brakes really hard so I start skidding. I then practice coming out of the skid. Fun. (And yes, I still get on a swing any chance I get!)

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Jennifer, Yes, I remember the Blizzard of ’78, senior year of college. Sounds like you had a savvy driving instructor. I’ve always said if you can learn to drive on CT roads (especially in winter) you can drive anywhere.

      1. So true. Just moved to Florida, so I’ll see if that’s true! 🙂

    • xo jc

    • 6 years ago

    OK, you have straightened me out. I listen to NPR too much in the car and see a swing as a danger. I like the challenge of driving in the snow and feel accomplished when I get through a skid decently. It has never occurred to me to cry at Wizard of Oz. I cannot even imagine where. I’m a coin toss on a parellel park but I often go for it, making it a hundred eek park.

    I have lost my sense of imagination, fun and simple adventure. I don’t surrender to my frailties and out and out joy. Talk about missing out… I am going to slow down, listen, watch movies ( I hardly do this, so obsessed with the politics of the day, as if I can somehow impact it) and I don’t sing much, except for church and I wonder how they can jump from octave to octave as they do!

    Thank you for illuminating my way too serious take on life. What’s with me? Laurie– do you have a karaoke song? I don’t, but sounds like something you might boldly have one, like, Over the Rainbow.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Joan, As we get older with all its challenges, its easy to lose our sense of fun and adventure. Sometimes its a struggle. I wish I had a karaoke song, but pick something off your I-pod and go to town in your car. No one will see… hopefully. Miss you! Would love to see you soon. Love, Laurie

  10. I’m always singing along to music in the car! It is hard for me not to singalong to my music when I’m in an aeroplane too – I have earphones in and I lip sync instead 😳… oh, and I always have music on when ironing….

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Linda, I’ve actually had to stop myself from singing along to music on airplanes, while wearing my headphones. I’ve also had to stop myself from “dancing” in my seat. It gets embarrassing. Glad I’m not the only one.

  11. I can’t parallel park, never could, never will be able to…and so I don’t..unless there is a huge space I can just pull into, i park in the deck…there is no need to drive in snow…I am not a doctor or EMT so therefore I stay home…and evidently so should most people..especially the ones causing all the accidents on the news! Great list!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Renee, Phew. So glad I’m not the only one. Sounds like we share a lot of the same challenges.

  12. I am sooo not embarrassed about any of these!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Good for you, Carol!

  13. Ha, all of these but the Wizard of Oz bit.

    Especially the talking to myself, though I think of it more as informal prayer, like God is a sounding board and probably rolling whatever eye-analogue God would have.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Tony, I love the talking out loud as prayer! Brilliant. Will remember that when my kids make fun of me.

  14. I am with you on the parallel parking! Absolutely hate it!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Shari, Yay! I’m not the only one.

  15. I avoid parallel parking like the plague – I can do it if forced but it’s rare. I love to swing – having a granddaughter gives me an excuse to visit our local park and its swings when she stays with us. I have NEVER driven on snow or ice and hold immense respect for those who have to do it on a regular basis. And I sing in the car all.the.time – because I can! 🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Leanne, Sounds like we live in parallel universes, even though we’re across the planet from each other!

  16. I remember 25 years ago when my son was 5 years old we were driving along in my Ford escort. I was singing with the song on the radio and he nicely asked me to stop singing. I said “But I’m a beautiful singer.” To which he replied “No, you’re not, you are my Mom.” I guess I couldn’t be both!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Sandra, Laughing. Yes, kids and their honesty.

  17. Nothing embarrassing about any of them! They all seem charming to me!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Bless you, Rebecca.

  18. I hate parallel parking. I’d walk for blocks – and have – to avoid it. And I hate driving in snow, too!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Lynne, So glad I’m not the only one!

  19. Oh, my goodness! Almost all of the above! I live in Canada, where it snows nine months of the year. (Sometimes more) I never want to go anywhere when it snows!
    I love to swing! Even with little kids and their moms there.
    Love to sing along. Loudly. With the windows open. (My very large second son, an army man, was singing along to The Archies, dressed in his kit–shaven head, army beret, etc. He got caught, too.)
    Talk to myself and, occasionally, the Roomba and other inanimate things.
    And cry at the end of nearly every movie.
    The only thing I don’t struggle with on this list is parallel parking. I can do it!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Diane, You are a kindred spirit. And like me, you’re also uncomfortable driving in snow, even though we live in snowy climates. I also love that you talk to the Roomba!

  20. Yes to everything except the Wizard of Oz. I’m still scared of the wicked witch!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Judy, Laughing. I can’t imagine anyone but Margaret Hamilton in that role.

  21. Laurie, I’m with you to some degree on all of these, but I have never had to drive in snow. (Okay, I live in South Africa. 🙂 ) But I just know I would never leave the house. A bad rainstorm is enough to send me into the house without getting to the shops! A to Z is over, and here’s the full list of my posts on the topic, “Improve your life, Improve your mind.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Shirley, So glad I’m not the only “weather avoider” when driving! Torrential rain can also be scary.

  22. I also do 2 of these but not saying which 😉. Interesting post.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Pete, Now I’ll have to guess!

  23. I don’t think any of these are flaws…especially the one about talking to yourself! What’s that old saying “Sometimes you need expert advice.”

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Shelley, Laughing. I seem to need expert advice quite a bit.

  24. I can’t parallel park either!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Cathy, Hooray!

  25. Relating all over the place here Laurie…. I’m good with parallel parking (since half of my historic home town requires it), but every time I pull into a regular old parking space, I’m crooket. Every. Single. Time. I have to laugh at myself, but honestly, I just can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong.

    I am also chronic self-talker… often wondering if my neighbors think I’ve lost my marbles.

    … And a car-singer – but with no shame 🙂

    Thanks for lightening up my afternoon!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Emily, I’m not even good with regular parking! I seem to always pull in crooked and have to redo it. Glad I’m not the only self-talker and car-singer. Phew!

  26. Haha! I can relate to all of these. After 40 years of driving, I still can’t parallel park either. I’ll park ten blocks out of my way and walk rather than parallel park. As to the talking to oneself, well, I do it so often my husband can actually say, “Oh, sorry, were you talking to me? I heard you rambling and figured you were conversing with yourself again.” lol My mother always said talking to oneself is a sign of high intelligence, though I suspect she said this because she also talked to herself. 🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Lisa, I cling to that “high intelligence” theory. Its so much nicer than senility. Glad I’m not the only one with these challenges.

  27. Besides my lack of parking ability even in my mini cooper, I talk to the computer aloud. Not a problem when I am home in my office but I found myself speaking out-loud with a very potty mouth in a waiting room recently before I could reign myself in! And driving in the snow, 22 years growing up in MA. and I hated it and still hate it. Luckily when it snows our yearly inch in Portland, Oregon, the city shuts down because they have like 2 plows so I can just stay home. The worst nightmare would be to have to parallel park while it is snowing.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Haralee, Laughing. Thank God you also have an out-loud potty mouth. I thought it was just me!

  28. I do a lot of those things, too. You’re not alone!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Lydia, Hooray!

  29. Oh, yes! So much so that I feel like you may have been following me and around. LOL! Except for the driving in the snow. Living in Wisconsin, I have that nailed.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Ellen, I can’t imagine winters in Wisconsin, although New England gets crazy sometimes. Sounds like you and I are soul sisters!

  30. I used to swing as a kid for what seemed like hours on end. Now I can easily get nauseated on the swing. Maybe lack of practice?

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Haralee, I still love it, but its one of these things that not easy to do publicly when you’re older… alas.

  31. I find that I can’t swing anymore (the same kind you’re talking about, haha). It makes my stomach all woozy. However, there are things I still do — like talking to myself and not like driving in the snow.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Barbara, Thank God, I can still swing, but its very rare I encounter a swing set. So glad I’m not the only one who talks to myself and hates driving in snow!

  32. I find that I can’t swing anymore (the same kind you’re talking about, haha). It makes my stomach all woozy. However, there are things I still do like you — like talking to myself and not like driving in the snow.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Barbara, So glad I’m not alone!

  33. I’ve always been a good parallel parker actually. I sometimes jump out and do it for my husband who is terrible. I love driving in snow too. And I sing I’m on stage in the car….much to my children’s embarrassment.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Lauren, So impressed by your parallel parking. Wish I had that talent!

  34. I love this list, Laurie! It frees me to be me, knowing there are others just like me!!
    Yes to all of the above, except parking!
    Since I work by myself, if anyone catches me talking to said self, I just tell them I’m having a staff meeting.
    I talk to inanimate objects as well. And now my Roomba has started talking back…

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Diane, Laughing. I think you have a blog post there, especially about the Roomba.

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