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Life changes us. We get older and things that matter when we’re young – career, status, and good hair days — matter less. I always prided myself on having an extensive bucket list – travel, eating exotic food, Brazilian bikini waxes. I still crave adventure and experience. But with each passing year, my bucket list is shrinking. Here are 6 things I thought I wanted to do, but now I’m “meh” about…

Living in Manhattan – My entire adult life, I craved dwelling in the Big Apple. All that glamour, energy, and excitement! But a funny thing happened. The last few times I’ve visited New York City, at the end, I’m ready to go home. The pace is too frenzied, the restaurants too crowded, the noise of horns and sirens too loud.

I still love visiting and will do it regularly the rest of my life. But that wistful sigh of, “How I wish I lived here,” is fading. These days, I’m happy to come back to my boring, quiet, Connecticut home.

Swimming with Dolphins – There was a point in my life I would’ve happily slid into a pool of large, seafaring creatures. You know, those tanks you see at Sea World or those cool, Bahamian resorts? Not anymore.

What can I say? Dolphins (or porpoises?) are too big and wet. They’re like super friendly, well-meaning people at cocktail parties who stand too close and talk too much. Only in this case, they’re huge mammals wanting to push and nudge and play and well, let’s face it…they look a little like sharks. Once I thought I wanted this experience with these sweet, lovely creatures. Not so much now.

Getting a Tattoo — I’ve always had a fantasy about having a little butterfly inked on my ankle. It would be discreet and small. I love the symbolism of this ever-evolving, beautiful insect. I’d feel like one of those cool, artsy chicks.

But now? The thought of those needles pulsating into my flesh is terrifying. I can’t even watch an episode of “General Hospital” without cringing.  What was I thinking?

Visiting Antarctica – I used to be open to going anywhere, including the South Pole. And I’d still go many places, but I now draw the line here. First, you must cross the infamous Drake Passage. For that, you have two awful choices – a super scary 10-day boat trip on rough seas or a super scary, turbulent plane ride.

Then, what do you do once you’re there? Cute as they are, I can only look at so many penguins. Antarctica seems like a really big Vermont – full of super cool, rugged hippie scientist types. But I’m officially spoiled now. Where’s the turndown service and minibar? None? I’m out.

Getting really good at yoga – When I was young, I had visions of doing yoga all my life. By this age, I’d be super flexible, and have an incredibly toned body. Somehow this never happened.

Back then, I thought the more I did yoga, the better I’d get. Yet, the strange thing is, the more I do yoga, the worse I get. I wouldn’t go near those sweaty, laborious, ever-moving Vinyasa classes again. These days, if I can do a few tree poses and a downward dog here and there, I’m happy.

Hot Air Ballooning – When young, I thought it would be cool to drift along in the thermal currents of the earth, like a lovely California Wine ad. But now there’s something a little too… “untethered” about the experience. Maybe I’ve seen the Wizard of Oz too much.

Hot air ballooning leaves me with too many questions. How do you get up there and what about steering and landing? What if a huge gust of wind comes along? What if you end up in Emerald City? And is there a ladies room? I don’t think there is, so that’s off the bucket list.

When I look at the peak, memorable moments in my life – an incredible meal, hearing beautiful music, seeing something amazing — many happened when I least expected them. I never had to run out to meet them. They came to me.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t have bucket lists, because we should.  They’re fun and hopeful. This world is too fascinating not to explore, even if its our own little corner.

But my goals seem to be reducing at an alarming rate. And for some reason, I find this strangely comforting. Life is easier. The pressure is off to “do” as fast and as much as possible.

Before I know it, I’ll be satisfied just having a good hair day.

 

 

How do you feel about bucket lists?   Comments are always welcome and if you like, please share. Thank you!

Comments(46)

  1. Oh yes..I find my bucket list shrinking as well. I just want to never set foot in a cubicle again. That’s it. They’ll probably have to haul my corpse out of one, though.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Michelle, I think never going into a cubicle again is the best goal you can have. I decided that many years ago and thankfully, have been able to stick to it.

  2. You are so right Laurie – I feel like Midlife has swung in the opposite direction to what it was a couple of decades ago. Back then everyone was slowly fading into old age and becoming invisible – now we’ve done a complete 180 and we all are expected to have a long list of exciting things we’re about to undertake. My bucket list is pretty simple – a few little things to do but no great plans – I just can’t be bothered with all the hoo hah of competing with the go-getters!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Leanne, Isn’t it the truth? I find I feel happiest and safest at home — especially in this volatile world. Glad you feel the same about a simple bucket list.

  3. When I saw the headline, I thought, how can that be? How can your bucket list shrink? But, I saw the first one and realized, yes. That happens. I also wanted to live in Manhattan at one point, but I agree, being able to come back to Connecticut at the end of the night is soothing! I would also have to shrink my bucket list because I’ve already done three of them.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Jennifer, There’s still plenty I want to do, but I’m getting more comfortable with not getting to a lot of them. Maybe I’ve travelled enough to say, I can throttle back a little. Of course, never say never. Life has a funny way of surprising us.

  4. My whole outlook on life is changing and so many things I just don’t want to do anymore. Hubby and I have talked about how our plans for life have morphed over the years and fortunately, they’re in sync. I’m not going to conquer the world and that’s okay. I can still influence and try to improve my little piece of it.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Shelley, So very true. Our plans do change as we get older. I’m not as ambitious or hungry for experience as I used to be. Maybe because I’ve gotten a lot out of my system? Who knows. Glad you and your hubby are in sync. That’s important.

  5. Yes… They came to me! They always do. I feel the same way. I love this post, Laurie.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Brenda, Thanks so much.

  6. Perfect, all of this, every word.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Susan, Thanks so much!

  7. Even at its peak, my bucket was rusty that housed my list, and I’m okay with that. I don’t like to travel, and I’ve finally had the courage to admit that. Doesn’t mean I won’t travel, as I love getting to my destination, but I hate the process of coming and going and have high anxiety about it. Antiarctica was never on my list but Paris was and if I don’t make it there, I’ll survive. As for swimming with dolphins, I don’t like to swim, so adding dolphins to the mix would be overwhelming!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Molly, Sounds like you have your priorities straight! I hope you get to Paris someday, but if you don’t, that’s okay too. Whatever works.

  8. Apart from swimming with the dolphins (which I did while still young(er) and a little more daring), I have to agree to none of the above. But I have a Husby who’s list is still Loooong. Sigh.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Diane, Sounds like you’re husband is still brave and daring! God bless him.

  9. I REALLY like this and am sharing it in a roundup post to publish on 9-2-17.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Shelley, Thanks so much! I’m honored.

  10. Mine, too! I love that. Living it up!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Its definitely easier to have a smaller bucket list, and less stressful.

  11. I think your bucket list reflects what you think you want and maybe things coming off is what you REALLY want.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Beautifully put and very insightful! (Writing it down for my next bucket list post).

  12. Sad but true! Sigh….Travel has always been the largest percentage of things on the list, but after our upcoming “epic voyage” to Europe (from Canada) this fall (8 countries in 31 days), we’ll likely be too exhausted to attempt another such journey!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Debbie, Wow, that sounds like an exciting journey! Have a great time.

  13. Isn’t it interesting how we evolve over the years? The person we were when we made a list of the things we wanted to do in life now has different wants and needs. The trick is to do what THIS Laurie wants from life. Reassess your list. xoxo, Brenda

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Brenda, So true. I find myself more and more a homebody. Yes, I like to get out and am always happy when I do, but also love returning to home base. Thanks for the great advice.

  14. Just crossed another off my bucket list: motor-biking across the continent. I’ve always thought it would be so fun having matching bikes, the wind in my face, the road stretching out before us.
    Now I look at bikers and all I can think is: you could never relax. You can’t really visit. and
    WIND IN MY FACE ALL THE TIME.
    Yeah. That’s one’s definitely dead.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Diane, Hee hee. I’m getting like that about so many things — too much trouble, travel, fuss. Off the list. Getting very lazy in my old age.

  15. Good hair days are the BEST!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Judy, Ha ha! Alas, they’re more infrequent than they used to be.

  16. Oh nooooooooo… one of my most FAVORite things I’ve done is a hot air balloon ride! don’t give up on that one.
    🙂 gwingal

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Thanks Nikki. I’ll rethink that deletion from the list!

  17. OMGOsh! I was laughing out loud at this! I’m with ya about NYC- I;’m exhausted when I finally get back to the my safe quiet CT town. (and that train ride is a killer) .
    I have a tiny tattoo on my wrist that I got with my daughter, and I’ve dipped my toes in the pacific ocean, as I always wished to do, but you just made me thing about how I don’t really have a bucket list. I think I need to make a small one- now, to think about what would be on it.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Wendy, Glad this resonated with you. I find more and more the small moments in life mean as much as the big peak ones. In fact, they might mean more!

  18. Love this Laurie and for the record, tattoos don’t hurt as long as you get them on a meaty part of your body. Even though it’s not excruciating pain, it’s just a bit uncomfortable. Go for it!

    I used to keep a bucket list but then I thought, what happens when I completed it? Does that mean, I need to add new things or that my life is complete? So, I decided against it. I admire those who keep one and check off their list. Thanks for sharing yours with us!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Bren, You got a tattoo! Good for you. Maybe I’ll get the courage someday. Who knows… thanks for the kind words.

  19. I’ve come to a point in life where I don’t keep a bucket list. There’s no reason to rush out and experience; plus I’ve done some of the things I always wanted to. There are other dreams, but these days practical, slow, and steady are pretty darned good. And when a good “bucket list” worthy thing comes along, I jump as fast as I can!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Julie, Like you, I’ve ticked off a lot on my bucket list already. And I find that, although its fun, the small things in life give the most happiness. Go figure…

  20. Yep. Except for the dolphins (which I’ve done…yikes!) all of the above. Plus I always thought I’d love to ride motorbikes across Canada (or the US). Just Husby and me and maybe another couple. Now, when I see a group of bikers roar past, all I can think is: Bugs in the teeth. Constant wind and noise. Really, really exposed. And how do you visit?!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Diane, I’ve changed so much over the years also. Yes, motorcycles sound cool and even romantic, but I bet the reality is very different.

  21. I turned 63 yesterday (or was it the day before?). Anyway I don’t have a bucket list…I am blessed and thankful to be where I am and to be me!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Teresa, I turn 63 in about a month! I’m the same way, my goal list is shrinking and my gratitude list is increasing.

  22. My bucket list isn’t shrinking, it’s just changing. The things I wanted to do when I was younger….some have been replaced. Like sky diving. I’m over it. Now I’d rather go in a hot air balloon with a good bottle of wine. I have zero desire to jump out of a plane now. Getting a tattoo? I would like one but I found out a couple years ago I’m allergic to tattoo ink, so now I want several piercings in my ears instead. There are so many others too. I scratch one off and just trade it for another.

    Oh and I never wanted to live in NYC and ended up there after I got married in my 40’s. So glad I did. It took me a year, but I grew to love it!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Lauren, I’d still love to live a year in NYC, just to say I did it.

  23. I did hot air ballooning and you are not missing a thing. I’m tall so felt very vulnerable. Great list!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Estelle, That would be scary if you’re tall. I’d probably like it once I was up there, but wouldn’t rush to do it.

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