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Sometimes it happens when you least expect it. You see things from a fresh perspective. You realize how lucky you are, even how you fit into your particular time and place. For a second, everything looks shiny and new. This happened to me this week when I did something I had never done before…

Through the help of a genealogy website, I started exploring my ancestors.

I’ve been able to go back as far as the early 1800’s to Ireland and Canada (I had relatives on Prince Edward Island?). I discovered grainy photos of women wearing long skirts and starched white blouses.

It turns out I had a great-grandmother Margaret and a great-great grandmother Catherine.

As I weeded through census sheets, marriage, and death certificates, I had to keep reminding myself these were real women. They loved and worked. They got out of bed each morning and ate breakfast. They had secrets and desires and in the case of my Irish ancestors, showed pluck coming to this new land.

They were born, lived their lives, and then were gone. Now they’re lines on a family tree.

I knew this would be fascinating. But here’s the thing I didn’t expect…

I became so engrossed in their world from the 1800’s that when I turned away from my computer… I saw it.

I saw my 21st century American life. I saw my world through their eyes.

I saw my computer that gives access to everything within seconds — including my heritage. I keep up with family and friends at the touch of a button. I can watch flash mobs in Beijing or live protests in Paris or the royal family visiting Kenya. I can watch giraffes birthing their young in real time, the latest Press conference at the White House, or the newest “cute puppy” video.

This phone in my hand links me to anyone on the planet — anywhere and anytime.

Planes fly everywhere in the world. And unlike our ancestors, I’ve seen the ground from 30,000 feet. I’ve seen what clouds look like as you’re breaking through on the way to landing.

I realized how much of my life – and our world – I take for granted.

And I know this sounds strange, but for part of the day, I felt the presence of my ancestors. I pictured them going through my house, pointing to this strange device or that.

“What are these?” they’d ask, holding up small, white plastic pods. “Those are K-cups for making coffee.” They’d point to the flat-screen television. “What’s that?” “That’s how we get our news, information, and non-stop entertainment – comedy, drama, scary stuff… what’s your pleasure?”

They’d shake their heads in wonder. I’d feel the women gazing at my strange jeans (pants on a woman?) and cotton top.

Yes, for a while, I envisioned visiting with the spirits of my relatives, gone so many years ago.

But then a strange thought popped into my head. What if all this was reversed?

In a hundred years, my family and I will be distant lines on someone else’s family tree.

Will my great-great-great granddaughter want to know about my life in early 21st century Connecticut? Will she shake her head at how primitive and quaint our existences were? Will she wonder how we survived without a… (I don’t know)…“particle de-mobilizer” or “dream transporter? Maybe she’ll point to my picture in fascination. “Look at those denim jeans and cotton tops.”

And like me with my ancestors, she’ll have to remind herself how we were also real people, not just names on census forms. We loved and worked. We got out of bed each morning and ate breakfast. We had secrets and desires and also showed courage.

We were born, lived our lives, and were gone. I couldn’t help feel a shiver.

As the day went on, that feeling of “fresh eyes” gradually subsided.

Before I knew it, I was back to complaining about the den remote running out of batteries, and the Keurig acting funny again.

Still, it was nice, even for a while, to see life differently, to “visit” (if only in my imagination) with the people who helped make my life possible.

How grateful I am to those women in those grainy photos, who lived so long ago.

Who knows? Maybe ancestors in the far future will gaze at my photo…and feel the same.

 

Have you looked into your ancestry? Comments are always welcome and if you feel inclined, please share. Thank you!

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Comments(46)

  1. I agree. I am often struck by how fleeting life is. I love that feeling when I look at things in a new light or feel a strong sense of gratitude. I think we are happier when we are aware. Have a great weekend!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Tomi, What a great insight — we are happy when we are aware. I’ll remember that.

    • Cathryn Harjung

    • 7 years ago

    What a fun blog post. Yes, I can relate. Like you, I find it exciting to explore family history and “connect” and find similarities to folks I never knew. Researching our ancestors can only enrich our lives. And looking through fresh, grateful eyes at our current situation never hurt anyone. 🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Cathryn, I find history (especially personal history) fascinating. I agree, it enriches our lives.

  2. Your post reminded me of a vivid moment I had in connecting with a past generation. My mother emigrated here from eastern Europe. When I was on a hiking trip in Prague I was sitting in a tea room where tea was served in delicate painted tea cups. There was a lace tablecloth on the table and floral wallpaper on the walls. And all of a sudden I felt a new understanding of my mother –a sense of the life she loved and left behind and, though our tastes were very different, an appreciation of the delicacy and charm of this Old World.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Wow, funny how moments like that make us see the bigger picture. I love the old world charms of Europe. I can see how your Mom would miss them here.

  3. I love to make connections with my ancestors too, Laurie. However, I have questions now that I should have asked several years ago about my great grandparents. Now there’s no one left who knows all the answers to my questions.
    Loved your post.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Corinne, I feel the same way. Why didn’t I ask my grandparents when they were still alive? I did hear some stories, but I wasn’t aware enough to realize how precious these stories would be later on. Thank God, my 82 year old Mom still remembers a lot.

  4. Beautiful post! Every now and then, I am taken aback by certain aspects of my life today–technology, especially–and I wonder what someone from 100 years ago would think if they were plopped down in the world today. But I never thought of my own ancestors in that scenario–it really does put it in a whole new light.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Roxanne, I know, we tend to only look behind us, but ahead of us are many more generations to come. I literally get goose bumps when I think of the technology 50 or 100 years from now. It boggles the mind.

  5. Such a thoughtful post, and you’re right… They would be amazed. There was a ’70’s movie called “The Gods Must Be Crazy,” where an indigenous tribe member in Africa found an empty glass Coke bottle and couldn’t understand what it was for. Charming movie, but it makes me think your post. xoxox, B

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Brenda, I saw that movie and loved it. You’re right, everything is relative. Still, I can’t imagine technology 100 years from now… literally, I can’t imagine it.

  6. I love, love, love, love this piece, Laurie! I have traced mine back on one side several generations and it is so moving to think of all they endured and all we take for granted. The connection you feel to them is so real and the wonder and awe is overwhelming…and then because we’re human, we go back to our lives again! But that’s okay, we can revisit. One of my favorite quotations is Proust’s “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Lee, It was funny, how doing this does give you new eyes. And I have to admit, its hard to imagine them as flesh and blood people, as generations from now will no doubt feel when they see pictures (and selfies) of us. There goes another shiver.

  7. We can learn so much from these women. Mostly about ourselves!
    Loved this!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Diane, Thanks so much. I think there’s much to learn from previous generations.

  8. It is interesting to think about, that is for sure! I just saw a picture of my Mother’s family around 1926 and no one really smiles. In the future will some relative ask why we were glasses?It is fun to speculate.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Haralee, What a great question: will we have glasses in the future? I love trying to imagine, although its very hard, considering how quick technology develops.

    • Pia

    • 6 years ago

    I am adopted and looking up ancestry is bittersweet for me. My birth family basically rejected me. My adoptive family is incredible but not my blood!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Pia, That’s a hard situation, but you got a wonderful adoptive family and that’s a biggie. Up till a few decades ago (maybe less) many of us didn’t know our true roots. I wish you all the best.

  9. I think knowing your past definitely puts your current life into perspective. I investigated my past after a trip to China with my sister. I was lucky enough to find a website created specifically to find oversea members of my father’s “tribe”. An English speaking member sent me our family tree; scanned pages of a book dating back to the 13th century when the Mongols invaded China and my ancestors fled to where they live today.

    I would LOVE to know more about their lives. But the family tree is a book of names, that’s all.

    But we’re leaving this massive digital footprint for future generations to see. If anything, there might be too much for them to figure out what was true and what was exaggeration.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Marian, I also find it gets very complicated as the family tree branches out in every direction with so many people. Your ancestry sounds fascinating. I believe learning about this can give clues as to who we are today. Goosebumps.

  10. It’s so true that our past affects our present and our future. I have an uncle ( 84) that LOVES to tell stories about his childhood. He is the youngest of 11 siblings, so he has a LOT to tell. Those stories are fascinating, about what life was like just 80 years ago. It’s amazing how much has changed, and the internet has dramatically changed life as we know it forever, sometimes in BAD ways, but also in many good ways. Makes me wonder, what will life be kike when I am 84???? ( I got 35 more years to go!) 🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Darlene, I can’t imagine what life will be like in 20 years, at this rate of technological advance. Your uncle sounds fascinating. So nice you get to hear his stories.

  11. PEI?! Have you been there? I’ve always wanted to visit. Any chance you are related to Lucy Maud Montgomery? Anyway, I loved this essay. And will share in my weekly newsletter.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Mithra, Thanks so much! Unfortunately, I know no one on PEI. Very surprised to have any connection, although I hear its pretty.

  12. This is such a cool perspective.I experienced something similar just yesterday, though perhaps on a smaller scale. After attending a funeral for a dear woman who was like a second mother to me, I felt like I could suddenly see the bigger picture. What the sum of her life was. The sum of my life so far, and how she’d helped shape it. It was very humbling to think about.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Lisa, Wow, that is an amazing perspective. Yes, every once in a while, something comes along and shows us the big picture. Its usually a humbling experience.

  13. Life is such a gift… and our history does give us a new view, in that you are so right!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Thank you, Carol.

  14. Even as a child, I often wondered what it would be like to explain our “modern” world to someone from the past. I have always loved family histories and majored in history in college. I’ve spent less time thinking about myself and my life as someone’s history. The news these days has had me thinking about how future generations will look back and remember our times.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Leah, I shudder to think what future generations will think of this time. Then again, there are so many dystopian versions of the future out there, maybe these are the good old days. Who knows?

  15. Although tempted, I haven’t yet looked into my ancestry. I suspect it’ll be a time-suck that I ca at do quote yet. I think time, I will. In regard to your new perspective, I always say “what a time we live in!”

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Ellen, I agree, it can be another time-suck, but its also fascinating. I fell out of the habit after a while, but while it lasted, ancestry was a fascinating diversion.

  16. What an amazing topic!
    I always wonder what they’d think of today’s prevalent lack of common sense and consideration?
    I’m absolutely fascinated by my ancestors! What were they doing? What were they thinking? What were their challenges? Their triumphs? I spend a lot of time in my parents’ and grandparents’ journals. I need to dig deeper and find my Greats and Great-Greats!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Diane, How wonderful you have their journals! I’d love to read my ancestors’. I think my ancestors would be shocked at this world, especially the prevalence of violence in the US. So sad.

  17. I started doing this a few years ago and it was so amazing. I need to get back into it, but just haven’t had the time. Are you using Ancestry?

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Rena, I use Ancestry, which was very good. I also had to put it aside, don’t have the time, but fascinating while it lasted.

  18. My husband is doing this for both of our sides since he loves doing it. I did 23 and Me a couple years ago which really opened a lot of doors. Some of thr info is mind blowing. Like I’m related to some of the first settlers of the US? British royalty? I had no idea I even had any English blood in me!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Lauren, How cool! I found out I had jewish blood in me which I never realized! Its fascinating, the things we find out.

  19. Spending time with those who have gone before is my most favourite thing to do! Hence my blog (and newest novel). I am fascinated by their stories. Their lives. Their triumphs. Their tragedies.
    I’m quite sure they are already wandering through my house, probably shaking their heads: “Diane, when was the last time you polished this doorknob? Swept this front step? Tsk. Diane wash those windows!”
    Or better: “You’re writing that story? I SO remember THAT story!”
    Spending time with my ancestors is a treat I give myself!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 3 years ago

      Diane, What a wonderful way to put things and I can’t wait to read your newest novel!

  20. I’ve had so many of these same thoughts. It’s hard to fathom the passage of time…and people.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 3 years ago

      Carol, Its very intimidating at times… both looking back and looking forward.

  21. That’s such a cool way of looking at it. I’ve been into my family ancestry and like to watch Youtube videos of life in New York in the 1880s just to see what it looked like.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 3 years ago

      Rebecca, I love those old videos too! Sometimes they appear on Facebook and I get lost in them, all those people living their lives, never imagining they’d be watched by people 100 years from then.

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