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Ever find yourself dreading something so much, you can’t think of anything else? Your heart beats fast. Your palms sweat. You lie awake at night. Yet afterwards you find yourself relieved and even happy? This happened to me this week when I had to face the biggest, scariest, most threatening task of all…

Yes, I had to get a filling replaced.

Now anyone who reads this blog knows I’m terrified of medical stuff… any medical stuff. And dental’s right up there.

My fear is that it’ll hurt or they’ll find something horribly wrong, which will lead to more appointments, more racing heart, and more sweaty palms. I’ll never escape.

This week, (as I’ve done before), I even considered cancelling. I can live with a bad tooth, I thought. But my logical self prevailed.

The ironic thing is you couldn’t find a cuter, nicer, less scary dentist than mine. Dr. I is tall, dark and handsome. He always smiles and speaks softly.

He lets me put on dreadful daytime TV for distraction, even though I’m sure he’s ready to tear his hair out.

The hard part is when I’m in the chair and he starts to recline it…my head way, way down. Panic starts bubbling up. Dr. I hovers over me. I have to swallow back claustrophobia.

Meanwhile, Rachael Ray chats away in a supermarket, trying to find the healthiest snacks. (By the way, black bean chips are not always the best choice. Who knew?)

Next, Dr. I inserts that Q-tip with the cherry-flavored numbing gel. In a few minutes, he pulls it out and then holds up that dreaded shiny, steel cylinder.

“You’ll feel a little pinch,” he says, easing a needle that looks seven feet long into my gums. I brace myself, but feel… nothing. This is why I love Dr. I.

He then picks up one of those silver drills that make that unearthly, grinding noise. All the time Dr. I is talking softly like he’s trying to calm a spooked horse back to the barn. “Just a little more,” he assures.

The drilling continues. Cold mist rises from my mouth from the friction.

I try not thinking of the scene in “Marathan Man” where the villain, played by Sir Laurence Olivier, drills Dustin Hoffman’s teeth…without Novocain.

“You’re doing wonderfully,” says Dr. I. And strangely, this helps. Damn, I think as he works away, I’m good at this.

Before I know it, he’s done. Cotton and metal brackets are pulled from my sore mouth, one by one.

I walk out feeling great. I triumphed.

And okay, I hardly stormed the beaches of Normandy, but for me it’s a victory. I faced down my fear. All the tension leaves my body and in its place is… relief, even pride.

Until I get home and face my second fear.

Why is it taking so long for the Novocain to wear off? I try not thinking about that urban legend where a woman’s Novocain never wore off. She was stuck looking like the Elephant Man.

I touch one side of my sagging mouth and start worrying. An hour goes by and then two. Oh my God, I’m going to be permanently disfigured.

Finally I feel those wonderful tingles…you know, those itches you can’t scratch? Phew.

And that’s when I have my other feeling of gratitude. Usually I find lots of fault with my face – too round with wrinkles and even a zit here and there — but there’s nothing like a bout of Novocain to make you appreciate what God gave you.

Now I can claim full medical victory. I made it to the other side and that’s when I realize something else.

In a strange way, these challenges are the spice of life. I see now how weeks starting off with stressors (a medical appointment, meeting lots of new people, travelling) make me happier in the end than weeks with no stressors.

In fact, I’m usually bored at the end of those.

Maybe we’re wired for bumps in our lives. (And yes, I’m talking about small bumps, not big ones). Maybe small challenges keep us alert, even grateful. They take us out of our comfort zones long enough to appreciate what we have.

That said, I won’t welcome my next medical appointment, but I’ll try to remember that sometimes good comes from them. The relief later is worth a little discomfort.

Maybe little tortures give life spice, after all.

 

 

How do you feel about medical appointments? Are you a wreck too? Comments are always welcome.

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Comments(50)

  1. I have to agree – without small tortures, the good times wouldn’t have context (or at least as much).

    Great read – I share your unease at medical procedures. I feel you for sure.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Tony, Thanks so much. Glad I’m not the only one with “white coat syndrome.”

  2. I hate going to the dentist more than anything in life! Did i say I hate it? But glad your appointment turned out ok…and also that you have something to look at..the TV and the cute doc..

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Renee, Yes, the cute doc and TV are definitely lifesavers in this situation!

  3. I almost couldn’t read this. Every time I have tooth pain I get petrified that I need a root canal! I’m glad you made out okay, but it didn’t change my mind!!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Christine, I think the best thing about root canals is having them over. Then a relieved, happy feeling takes place for me. I guess that’s the only good that comes from them.

  4. I didn’t have a good experience with my last root canal, Laurie, so I would definitely have anxiety if facing another. I have been a nurse for over 30 years and I HATE medical procedures. My PCP has finally talked me into another colonoscopy and now I’m procrastinating about getting it scheduled, not responding to phone calls and letters pleading with me to contact the scheduling department. I can relate!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Molly, I’m also overdue for my colonoscopy and dread it. Turning 60 this year, I have a slew of check-ups I’ve put off for ages. I’m going to grit my teeth and go.

  5. Not had to have root canal yet! Briefly thought a wisdom tooth would have to come out, which I would not have liked, but it’s stayed thus far. I dread having blood taken (dodgy veins) and going under general anaesthetic medical procedure wise. Not sure I feel better once over! Though would probably have to concede that I must have felt better post general anaesthetic when my appendix ruptured than I would have otherwise! I have had that nervous dread followed by relief with other things though.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      A ruptured appendix does not sound like fun. I’m sorry. I also have dodgy veins. It takes them 10 tries on each arm to finally end up on my right one.

  6. I’m not afraid, although I’m not as brave as I used to be. I used to have my teeth drilled without novocaine because the pain of it wearing off was worse than having the teeth drilled. Now I use the novocaine and the dentist is surprised when I start to nap in his chair. They play music through the office. At any time I might hear The Beatles or Jimi Hendrix or Van Halen, but the last time I was having my teeth drilled, for some reason, they decided a classical music station would be great and it might have been if they weren’t playing The Ride of the Valkyries.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      No Novocaine, Jennifer? You’re the bravest woman I know. I can’t imagine. Sounds like you have a hip dentist office with Jimi and the Beatles.

  7. When I got braces at age 12, I stopped worrying about dentists and pain. It made me tough, plus my body accepts anesthesia REALLY well. Dentistry aside, it’s those other things that cause stress, like driving downtown for a meeting in the rain, attending an event in another city, things that are new and different. That’s MY introversion rearing her slightly homely head 🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Terri, All those sound like good stressors. I just like the way I feel after. The relief feels so good. Plus, there’s certain pride in accomplishment.

  8. I got the chills and sweats reading this. I had a dentist screw up a lot of teeth. Long story short…found an amazing one who has really fixed me up but best of all, he (and his staff) are amazing when it comes to my anxiety! I am beyond thankful!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Stacey, I think that’s what I like about my dentist. Everything is slow and he speaks softly. I’m sure he knows most (if not all) people don’t want to be there!

    • Sue

    • 7 years ago

    I’m not a huge fan of the dentist and that drill! Even writing about it makes my skin crawl. Well done and yes I love that tingling when the novocain wears off.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Sue, It did take longer for the Novocaine to wear off this time, which got me worried, needlessly. The only thing good about the dentist (or any medical procedure) is having it over. I find my happiness quotient goes up a lot afterwards.

  9. I am so glad to hear someone else is as neurotic about this stuff as I am! Have had one root canal in my life and pray not to have any others. And speaking of prayer, the doctor actually said, “You can stop praying now. The worst is over.” He must have seen my hands clenched in front of me! Glad you made it through and wishing you no more of these . . .

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Kristine, Glad I’m not the only one who’s neurotic about this. I’m sure the majority of people hate medical stuff. Still, its a necessary evil. Shiver.

  10. I’m glad you made it through the procedure relatively unscathed. I always worry about not answering the dentist when he’s talking to me, but it’s impossible in the middle of dental work. The last thing I want to do is swallow the drill. (As a matter of fact, it’d probably be the last thing I’d ever do too.)

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Bun, The worst are the dentists who want to talk politics, especially the ultra-conservative ones. I’ve learned never to argue with anyone about to use dental implements in my mouth. I just nod.

    • Heather

    • 7 years ago

    I have to admit getting my teeth cleaned is one of my most favorite procedures. Crazy, according to most of my friends. I have had cavities filled and wisdom teeth pulled without issue. So I do not have dental anxiety. What does scare me is having to have my neck adjusted. Thankfully, I have only needed it to be done a few times. It took a ton of self talk and faith in my chiropractor to get through it. Felt great when it was over.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Heather, I’ve never had my neck adjusted. That would be right up there with medical tortures for me. You sound brave for going through with it.

  11. Root canals. For all that is holy, that was terrible. But things like this do in

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Michelle, The only thing about them is when they’re over.

  12. Good for you! Last year I was in dental hell. I got a postcard from the endodontist about a check up of the retreat root canal. Maybe in May if I need some spice to my life!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Haralee, Think how good you’ll feel when its over and behind you.

  13. Yikes. I lay awake thinking about everything. Even things I enjoy doing. Haven’t had a root canal yet, thank goodness, but have had surgery on both feet. Ugh. It was worth the sleeplessness that preceded, so you are right!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Diane, Surgery on both feet doesn’t sound like fun. The only good thing about these events is the relief and happiness you survived.

  14. I hate dentists. Of course, that could explain why I wear dentures.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Rena, Dentists do carry their own brand of torture. I don’t blame your aversion at all.

  15. Laurie, I am so afraid of the dentist that I couldn’t even read this entire post 🙂 . I have a hard time getting numb so my root canal included being heavily medicated and living in dread for weeks before. I agree, all of the difficult things we go through, especially as we get older, make us appreciate the peace and quiet and, dare I say, dullness of regular life.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Sharon, Here’s to the dull side of life! I agree, as I get older (and more set in my ways), I love returning to my comfort zone. Of course, I don’t appreciate my comfort zone as much until I’m pulled out of it.

  16. Oh no, my hubs recently had a root canal and it made me cringe! I feel your pain!

    Normally, there isn’t any doctor appt that makes me feel uncomfortable except for my dermatologist. After having many skin cancers and having them surgically removed, I dread having another. Sadly, years of not covering up have done a number on me. Silly me.

    Hope your future dentist appts go smoothly! Having a doc you know and trust is the best!

    B

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Bren, I love my dentist. He’s adorable and sweet. It definitely makes a difference. Sorry for your dermatologist challenges. There’s always something.

  17. I so related to this post! I feel that terror–and sense of relief–when it comes to flying. I drive myself nuts in the days leading up to a flight, imagining all that could go wrong. And then, when the plane touches down at my destination, all that tension just drains from my body (the Xanax I took at the start of the flight helps, too!). And I feel overjoyed to be alive (whether I’m just starting a vacation or business trip, or coming home). Torture is a little spicy, isn’t it?

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Roxanne, I’m the same way about flying! When those wheels touch down, all the tension drains from my body. You do feel more alive and appreciate all the little things. But its not till you step out of that comfort zone, that you appreciate its there.

  18. I really really enjoy how you write. I did not see where you were going with the story and when you hit the end I found myself nodding in agreement. Yes. Wednesday’s are my hard days and on Thursdays I think: that wasn’t so bad. I love my life.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Carla, Funny how small challenges make life richer. I’m not talking about the terrifying, life-threatening stuff, but small things can make us appreciate the easier, nice times better.

  19. Hate, hate, HATE going to the doctor! I’ll put it off as long as I can. It’s irrational, but its there so I feel your pain (metaphorically speaking, of course. I hate pain too).

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Shelley, So glad I’m not the only one, although I think lots of people are like us. My imagination goes crazy and I fear the worst. I keep hoping my “white coat syndrome” will get better as I get older, but it seems to be worse. Sigh.

  20. Goodness Laurie this is me to a T & I have a cute dentist too. I’m a nervous wreck visiting the dentist- I had a bad absess that I couldn’t ignore and he was so lovely … even the root canal that followed was relatively painless … however I still have a panic attack just booking my check up! 😜

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Linda, I’m the same way about anything medical. Still, it feels so good to have it over with, doesn’t it? I love walking out the door.

  21. I’ve started to freak out at dental appointments too. Not my favorite. After I calm down everything goes fine. I can’t figure out why I get so nervous beforehand. For a while, I had a dentist that kept telling me I needed things I actually didn’t need. I went to a different dentist and found out he was taking advantage of my insurance.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Rebecca, Wow, horrible about that dentist taking advantage of you. I don’t blame you for being skittish about that, on top of the normal nervousness. Glad you found a good one.

  22. I used to be terrified of the dentist–so much so that I didn’t go for nearly ten years after I left home. Of course the avoidance caught up with me and I ended up needing gum grafts, 7 extractions, 3 root canals and orthodontia (I wore braces from age 26-30). It was kind of immersion therapy–if I could endure what I did, regular cleanings, fillings or crowns were a piece of cake from there on in! An ounce of prevention and all that…

      • Laurie Stone

      • 3 years ago

      Roxanne, So true. Just had a bout with an Oral Surgeon, four procedures over the past year. Now going to the regular dentist seems easy. You’re right, its all relative.

  23. I feel this same way about going to the gyno. But I still go. Ug.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 3 years ago

      Lauren, That’s probably the worst, so invasive and just plain icky.

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