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Sometimes an event happens that stops you in your tracks. It shakes and scares you, but gives a new perspective. This happened to me the day after New Year’s last year.

My husband Randy and I had hosted our second annual New Year’s Day “Basement Jam.” This is a party for local musicians – – guitarists, drummers, bassists, and some amazing singers.

Randy’s in several bands and over the years has become buddies with many of the area’s music aficionados. We served pizza, wine, and beer. Many brought a favorite dish.

There were probably five bands in all. As usual, the talent was amazing. From the women singing the sultry songs of Aretha Franklin to guitarists shredding away, to impeccable drumming, the basement filled with non-stop, toe-tapping, body swaying music, mostly rock, but also country and Motown.

One band was my 26 year-old son Patrick’s, “Pat Stone & the Dirty Boots.” I sat watching this young trio, filled with my usual admiration and gratitude. Patrick picked up his first instrument at twelve, one of Randy’s old basses, and hasn’t stopped playing since.

Handsome drummer Nick with shoulder-length dark hair was the backbone with his steady percussion. Bassist Andrew (who I’ve known since he was fourteen) has grown into a tall, strapping man and is an amazing talent on a huge, upright bass.

Not only are these three band-mates, but housemates and best friends. Patrick tells me every night they grab their instruments and jam for an hour in the living room, just to let off steam.

They played a set of original tunes and then went into a rousing version of Tom Petty’s “Last Dance with Mary Jane” and even Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues.”

Our basement, already full of seasoned musicians, erupted as these three young men played their tight, awesome set. Several of the older guys grabbed their guitars and joined in.

Afterwards, Nick and Andrew said their goodbyes. They were driving home together. (Patrick was tired and opted to sleep in his old bedroom).

I went back to the party, listened some more and then went to bed.

The next morning Patrick came into the kitchen. By the look on his face, I saw something was wrong. “What’s the matter?” I asked.

“Nick and Andrew got into a bad car crash last night,” he said.

I clutched my chest, afraid to hear. “Are they okay?”

He nodded. “Miraculously, they’re fine.”

He told me the details. The accident had taken place on a narrow, windy road between two reservoirs. It was not their fault. A man (maybe who’d been drinking too much) smashed into them, head-on.

Both young men had walked away. Their only injuries were pain caused by air bags, which had probably saved them. The driver of the other car was taken away in an ambulance.

Even though they were fine – and for them, the ending was happy – this news shook me for days. I felt queasy with all the “what-ifs,” as I’m sure their families did. I couldn’t help think how thin the line was between a joyous night and a tragic one.

And as I thought about this, I realized several things…

Life is a gift. Everything can change, or end, in an instant. We must appreciate what we have, even if it’s not perfect.

I also realized what great friends and housemates Nick and Andrew have been for my son, how happy they make him. Sometimes we forget how precious the people are in our lives, until something like this happens.

This past week, I’ve been thinking of possible New Year resolutions. But this accident helped me understand something. Maybe the greatest resolution is just giving ourselves permission to enjoy life and the people we hold dear.

Maybe we have more than we realize. Maybe we’re luckier than we know. Maybe it’s all enough.

I’ve always loved hearing my son’s band. But next time, when I hear the steady drumming of Nick and the rhythmic bass plunking of Andrew, I’ll give an extra prayer of thanks.

It was a happy New Year’s after all.

 

 

Have you had an event that shook you, but taught you something? Comments are always welcome and if you like, please share.

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Comments(42)

  1. This is a chilling way to begin a new year. I try to remember every day that life is short and we should enjoy each moment completely. Thanks for sharing…my husband would love a New Year’s Eve party like this…with all of the musicians.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Pamela, It was chilling, but thank God it had a happy ending. I think it made everyone realize how lucky we all are.

  2. Glad everyone is OK. Working at a hospital, I’m often presented with these types of situations – the ones that really make you sit back and think about things. On another note, I want to come hang out in your basement, lol. Sounds great!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Jeremy, Come over anytime! Our basement is always hopping. I can’t imagine working at a hospital and seeing what you see. I’m not sure I’d have the strength. I’m always grateful for those that do.

    • joan

    • 7 years ago

    When my children are in their own homes I stop bolting up when I hear a siren. I am still tuned into the shrill whir in my head as I go about my day hoping and praying about the people who may be in trouble.

    I’ll never shake that fear. So glad your boys walked away– yes, a miracle.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Thanks so much, Joan. I do the same thing with sirens. I hear them and immediately try and place where everyone is, whether they’re on the road or not. Some things never change. Miss you!

  3. I’m glad the young men were not badly hurt and that your son was spared. I hope the instigator heals up too (and refrains from drinking and driving — or driving when exhausted). Scary stuff.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Karen, What scared me is how fast life can change, in an instant. It makes every little complaint I have seem petty.

  4. Thank goodness they are safe! It is always a blessing to give yourself “permission to enjoy life” and to be grateful for “the people we hold dear.” Sometimes we need to be reminded of the of the goodness that is all around us.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Well put, Lori. Its easy to get mired in the little, dumb stuff and not see the big picture.

  5. So true that we always need to count our blessings. So glad they are safe. We have to go on living and not fear every car trip, airplane ride etc But it can be hard. We had a leaky roof during Christmas and now face roof repair and ceiling repair and bills for stuff that we had not anticipated. But I remind myself these are minor things. Today everyone in the family is okay. That’s blessings by the hour.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Beth, I think its hard to stay in a state of always counting our blessings, until an event comes along that reminds us how lucky (and fragile) we really are. But you’re right, we can’t go around fearing. I guess we need a healthy dose of fatalism.

  6. Oh, gosh. Car accidents are so scary. Glad they were OK.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Thanks so much, Coco.

    • Susan

    • 7 years ago

    What a terrifying, “There but for the grace of God…” moment that must have been for all of you! I am so relieved to hear this happy ending!!! Happy happy New Years indeed!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Thank you, Susan. I have to say it shook me for days, but definitely gave me a fresher view of life.

  7. So glad all your boys are ok. Thanks for the “wake up call” post and Happy 2017.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Linda, It was a wake up call to enjoy life and hold the ones we love near. Happy New Year!

    • Judi Back

    • 7 years ago

    So fortunate for all~~I am so grateful for all of the families and believe
    in “Godwinks” which have helped many~~~

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Yes, Judi, I was very grateful for the “wink of God.” We were all lucky.

  8. Late to the party and what else is new? I’m so glad it was only a scare and as they say, a wake- up call to examine important things we have. Amazing how fate works and the mysteries which surround us. Your story has given me positive things to examine and so I say, thank you, Laurie.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Helen, We all have moments that bring us up short in life. I’m so thankful this had a happy ending. Its made me see things differently.

  9. Such things certainly give a person reason to pause and consider, but perhaps that is not all bad? Surely taking a few moments here and there, particularly at the start of a brand new year, to consider how precious our lives, and indeed, all lives are, is a good thing. Your story reminded me of another that did not end so well. In days of yore…when my bother and I were teens, before the time of air bags and mandatory use of seat belts, two of my brothers best friends left a party and soon after smashed into a bridge abutment (icy highway conditions) and were both killed. My brother took it very hard, in fact, he had been invited to go with them, but he had begged off because he simply wanted to go home and sleep. He was very lucky, but that accident where he lost two of his best friends haunted him for a very long time.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Carol, I get shivers just hearing that. Yes, if anything had happened to Andrew and Nick (my son’s best friends) he would’ve been affected for a very long time. Thank God we were all lucky.

  10. I’m so glad they were OK! A friend’s son was recently hit by a driver who fled the scene. A good Samaritan followed the car to get the license plate #. Turned out to be a man driving on a suspended license. Other than my friend’s car being totaled, the boys were ok. It IS scary. Life can change in the blink of an eye.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Kristine, It really shook me, although everything was fine. You’re right, things can change in one second. We’re much more fragile than we know.

    • Pam

    • 7 years ago

    I’ve had a similar wake-up call in the last week. It truly is scary. And we really do not know when things can change. Giving ourselves permission to enjoy life…now that’s something I do need to do. I’m so worried about losing it, I forget to enjoy it while we’re here. So glad everyone walked away. 🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Pam, Good point. Sometimes we try and play it so safe, we lose the fun of life. Its a hard balance. I’m sorry about your similar wake-up call. I hope it had a happy ending.

  11. Thank goodness for air bags. So glad everyone was ok after that scare.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Carol, That really shook everyone up. How thin that line is between joy and sorrow.

  12. It is jolting to have such an event enter a fun filled weekend and your points are well taken, Laurie, to treasure the people in our lives. You don’t want to dwell on the ‘what if’s’ all the time and ruin the present moment, but it is good not to take people for granted and to continually be grateful for them. Might even help smooth out rough patches in relationships, when you think about how temporary they all are. Glad everyone was okay!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 7 years ago

      Thanks so much, Molly. Yes, it was definitely a wake-up call for how fragile life can be.

  13. Amen to that. And what a fantastic New Year’s Eve tradition. I’m so glad the young men were OK!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Thanks, Bonnie. It is a great tradition and yes, prayers of thanks to heaven.

  14. I am so glad they weren’t seriously injured. Treasure those golden moments because you just never know when they might be the last ones.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Thanks so much. Treasure those moments, indeed.

  15. Oh my goodness, how terrifying! As a mother I can only imagine how distraught you must be STILL!…I’ve had episodes like this in my life, but am drawing a blank on them all right now because can’t get that good fortune/horrible event out of my mind!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Flossie, It was terrifying and even though it didn’t involve my son directly in the accident, I can’t imagine if anything had happened to those other two wonderful young men.

  16. Yes. It only takes an instant.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Carol, So scary.

  17. What a scary thing to think about but as parents we always do. Glad they were okay.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 years ago

      Rebecca, It was scary to think about! Thank God those horrible events gradually fade.

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