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I’m not being rhetorical here. I need help. What do you get the man who has every gadget, device, musical instrument, wine accessory, wine, article of clothing, and even neon-colored sneakers? This happens every December, the time of year I’m handed one of my biggest life tasks…

I must buy a Christmas present for my husband Randy. I can sense the raised eyebrows of more creative and resourceful women. But you must understand. Buying Randy a Christmas gift is really, really hard for these six reasons…

He’s a master gift giver. It’s like trying to out-cook Jacques Pepin. Randy loves buying presents. He craves the hunt, trying to find that perfect shirt, or just the right trinket. He matches personality and hobbies and favorite colors. Each year I get things I didn’t know I wanted, but when I get them—they’re perfect. I love them.

Of course this has also come in handy over the years. I quickly learned Randy’s the one to go to for buying our sons’ Christmas gifts. From tricycles and Pokeman cards when the kids were little, to guitar amps in modern times, this Dad knew what he was doing. And I was happy to let him do it.

He loves to shop. Yes, we have a mixed marriage. Randy has the fastest keyboard hands I’ve ever seen. He knows his way around Amazon, Ebay and Etsy in ways that would shock Jeff Bezos. Christmas feeds his gift-giving and buying passions. He has the patience of a duck hunter. He’ll sit and wait for the perfect gift at the right price at the most opportune time and then pounce.

Me? I don’t like shopping. I get frustrated. If I don’t find the perfect item in ten minutes, I walk away.

He already has everything. Like many people in this part of the world (including myself) Randy lacks for nothing materially. I seriously can’t think of another object he could use. So, this has led me to a more creative approach. Recently I’ve switched to giving him experiences over the material. Except, there’s a problem…

What I like to buy him, he’s meh about. I’ve given Randy tickets to Broadway shows and gift certificates to Manhattan restaurants. What could go wrong? Yet I never understood his polite, but restrained response. Then he explained it. Manhattan means work to him. The city is crowded, loud, sprawled out, and expensive. I finally got that. And it made sense, but its one more category to cross off my list.

The stuff he does likes, I don’t understand. Randy could always use another doohickey for his P.A. system in the basement or one of those electronic gizmos for his bass. But I might as well be assigned purchasing medical equipment for an operating room. It’s not my bag. And on the few occasions I’ve tried to get him a techie gift he already had it—in a better version.

He gets a kick more from giving than receiving. He’ll deny this, but I know its true. My husband loves to give. He presides over Christmas like a master of ceremonies, doling out each present, watching our faces while we pull back the wrapping. He gets joy from making people happy. I sit back, sipping my coffee, knowing I’ll always be playing for second in the Yuletide sweepstakes. My husband is a pro.

However, that doesn’t mean I give up. I’ve just learned where to channel my holiday energies.

If I can’t find the perfect gift for my husband, I do the next best thing: I give him a nice Christmas. We have a cheerful, decorated home. We have good food in the fridge and family around the table. We have a pretty Christmas tree and Poinsettias and stockings hung over the fireplace. I’ve decided if I can’t be good in the gift-giving department, then I’ll be good in the Christmas-making department. And that is the one area I excel over him.

Meanwhile, time is ticking. I’ll keep searching. And who knows? Maybe I’ll hit it right this year. Maybe I’ll find that perfect gift for my husband.

In the meantime, there’s always neon-colored sneakers.

 

Who’s better at Christmas buying in your house? Comments are always welcome. If you like what you read, just give a share! Thank you!

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Comments(20)

  1. Exactly! I live with that man too! I also try to find a way to make something unique for him while keeping everything perfect around here just as he loves it.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 8 years ago

      Wendy, I think a lot of women go through this. Women are easy to shop for. Men? Not so much. Sounds like you still give him a nice Christmas. Thanks for stopping by.

    • Lois Logan

    • 8 years ago

    Your writing touches me every single time. This is fantastic!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 8 years ago

      Thanks so much, Lois.

    • Tee Mee

    • 8 years ago

    I do have a great idea for Randy. I’m going to private message you on FB

      • Laurie Stone

      • 8 years ago

      Thanks, Tee. Got it. Definitely worth considering.

  2. You’re a lucky woman, Laurie! My husband doesn’t like surprises – giving or receiving them. This makes it hard for a gift loving – giving and receiving – person like me!
    I hope you find just the right gift for Randy and have a wonderful Christmas too!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 8 years ago

      Thank you so much, Corrine!

  3. As is obvious from others’ comments – you are not alone. This year is kind of a downer for me as the hubs and I decided (it was really more that HE decided) to not get each other gifts and we’ll get something big together. Uh huh. Do you think this “big” item has materialized yet or will before Christmas? Yeah that’s a No. So admittedly I’m a little disappointed. I really shouldn’t be because most of my gift giving attempts for him fail. Hopefully we’ll make good on our decision to treat ourselves… eventually…

      • Laurie Stone

      • 8 years ago

      I’m sorry, Karen. If you don’t get what you want, can you gift yourself? Sounds like you deserve something great. So glad to hear from you. I noticed you haven’t been posting lately and hoped everything was okay.

  4. I think you may have married the perfect husband. I’m afraid I’m the kind of husband whose terrible at giving gifts even to my own family, so I hesitate to make suggestions for yours.

    Okay, I’ve hesitated long enough, how about giving him some kind of experience that’s not in Manhattan? What that experience might be, though, is a bit tougher to figure out.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 8 years ago

      I’m with you, Bun. Got tickets to a local Dweezel Zappa concert. He may not be my cup of tea, but Randy loves him. Fingers crossed.

  5. Oh, my goodness. Substitute Randy’s name for my Grant and it’s a perfect match! This is the toughest time of the year for me, for all the reasons above. Sigh.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Diane, I’m glad I’m not the only one. Buying for my husband is truly one of life’s greatest challenges.

  6. I hear exactly what you are saying! Rob always manages to find a unique thoughtful gift. The best-and May I suggest this for your guy- he made a calendar from photos I took on a dream vacation!! Personal and thoughtful and surprising as I didn’t know he knew you could even do such a thing! Lol!!

      • Laurie Stone

      • 6 years ago

      Laura, The calendar idea is wonderful. I’ve seen those done and its a beautiful, thoughtful gift.

  7. Love the idea to give the gift if experiences over material…How about a gardening class! My local community garden offers gardening workshops. These classes are typically inexpensive and run about $20 for two. You may have something similar in your area. If gardening classes do not interest you, maybe drawing or painting classes? Anything that brings out the creative genius in both if you! 🙂

      • Laurie Stone

      • 5 years ago

      Darlene, The idea of classes is a good one. Randy can’t walk well so gardening would be tough for him. Drawing or painting isn’t bad, though! Thank you!

    • Carol Cassara

    • 4 months ago

    I like the way you think.

      • Laurie Stone

      • 4 months ago

      I like the way you think too!

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