18 Comments

  1. The greatest gift my mom gives to me is her honesty. She is my biggest fan and a constant source of encouragement and support, but she does not hesitate to tell me when my behavior is out of line or inappropriate. It's the honesty that sometimes friends are afraid to dish out, and I always appreciate it (maybe not in the moment, but eventually)

  2. No, I think you pretty much covered all the good stuff a mother should be. I agree. I didn't exactly have any of that although my mother was very present, she just lacked the ability to show emotion. Which now, as a mother myself, I can't even wrap my mind around. Well, I guess she instilled in me the drive to love fiercely since I had not experienced it…and, no, I'm not feeling sorry for myself. This post was beautifully written. And my condolences for the loss of your father.

  3. Thanks so much, Sandra. It sounds like your Mom did the best she could. She instilled in you the desire to show emotions to your own children, which was a good thing. You're not feeling sorry for yourself. Sounds like you're self-aware.

  4. Four weeks ago, today, my mother died of dementia and heart failure. I continue to have new found admiration for her. She handled those last weeks with such grace and dignity. Thanksgiving, I’m going to my best girlfriend’s, since high school, house and can’t wait because her mother will be there. She was the most ideal mother of any I knew. She’s my substitute mom, now. Brenda

    • Laurie Stone

      Brenda, I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom. What a tough time for you. Thank God you have another woman in your life who’s special. I’m sure she’ll help you through this difficult time.

  5. I completely agree with all of these points. I’d also add that an awesome mom tells you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. She is the one person in your life that can do this because you know it always comes from a place of love.

  6. Aw, sounds like you have a wonderful mother! These are all things that a loving mother will work to provide, and I am trying my damnedest to do as best I can for my sons! 🙂

  7. I loved this Laurie. I was reading this looking at my mother who is sitting somewhere in the 1940’s while her body is stuck in the here and now and it made me smile. She has always been there. Always and one day she won’t and it made me think of all of the things I would miss. On the other hand, I think of my daughter a young mother to twins and how she has a way of understanding their needs without them saying a word and how proud she makes me feel every time I see her. Thank you for the reminder.

    • Laurie Stone

      Rena, I’m at the stage myself where I see my mom struggle with aging. She’s still doing well, but its hard to watch sometimes. How nice that you appreciate your wonderful daughter with her twins. Sounds like you have three wonderful generations going there.

  8. #5 is such an interesting concept. My own mother used to tell of being at a bridge game where one of the other players was my high school English teacher. They got to arguing about what I would do after high school. My mother was convinced I would do as she had, which was marry and stay close to where I was raised. My teacher told my mom that she had me totally figured wrong and that I would go to college and the be a working mom because I was achievement oriented. My mom later told me of the conversation and how it annoyed her that my teacher felt like she knew me better than she did. However, my teacher was right and it was an eye-opener for me to know the lens through which my mother viewed me.

    • Laurie Stone

      Shelley, Sounds like a blog post to me! So interesting and you’re right about your mom looking through a different lens than the teacher. Maybe it was the only one she knew, like many women of her generation.

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